ROADSIDE FLOWERS ( t. kageyama )

PARTING MESSAGE

; to those who made it here,
thank you so much for reading this !

◇ before anything else, i would like to thank @sun-blossoms and @serayume for making this story and the whole experience of writing it better and more enjoyable. sorry for being so inconsistent and demanding at certain times and thank you for staying with me through twenty five chapters of catastrophe. my heartfelt thanks to you.

◇ to my readers, thanks for sticking with me. i had a huge break before publishing this and i'm so happy that you still received this book with open arms ♡ thank you so much. the jokes, the comments, the votes and all the things that happened, thank you so much. you guys are awesome !!

◇ roadside flowers was just supposed to be a three part story with the ending being teruko's rejection, a supposed realization that love hurts. i was supposed to publish it in valentines' 2019, but i couldn't even write the second chapter and a lot of what ifs started popping in my mind. teruko felt so empty and bland so i wanted to expand on her, her life, her likes and dislikes, what she wants to do. i wanted to empower and make her a better version of herself hence the 25 chapters of catastrophe following soon after. i hope i did a satisfactory job.

◇ i did my utmost best with her mannerisms and after 5 finished books (icantbelieveifinishedfivebooks), i feel satisfied with how it turned out.

◇ i did lots of research, i promiseeee. irl, i'm not a shy girl or anything close to that so i had no idea how i could write someone who acted like one. i had to spend time browsing psychology websites and books and how abuse worked in families.

◇ speaking of that, you may notice that teruko really didn't become affectionate with her mom after all that's happened. that was on purpose. i just think that it's stupid to have her suddenly becoming buddy buddy with someone who's caused her bouts of anxiety and twisted her mind so much that her self esteem is nonexistent. some abusers really do change for the better and i think teru's mom may be changing, but it took her years of inflicting pain upon her children. i just think that it's right that mending the wounds she inflicted also take the same amount of time or even longer. or maybe she goes on with her life never forgiving her mother. teruko is loving herself and with that strength, she can't be always stuck in things.

◇ my story always has takeaways, and for this one, there's a lot. but what i wanted to portray most of all is the importance of self-love. love yourselves, no matter how difficult it may be sometimes. learn to accept all your faults and your misgivings. the process of acceptance is slow, but just like teruko, you'll get there eventually. you just have to be patient :)

◇ love yourselves guys, it's difficult, and sometimes you'll feel as if you aren't making progress, but you'll get there, we will get there.

◇ and for people like teruko, just because you're not as outspoken or as brave or as loud as others does not mean you're weak. we all have different strengths and your kindness is something to be treasured. your emotions are valid ♡ you're valid ♡

◇ you guys are worth a thousand wishing stars. for the last time in roadside flowers, thank you so much for reading and goodbye ♡

kylalily, 2020