~~langst~~ (one shots)

stars...

(listen to the song on repeat if you want the full effect of the story)

I stand in front of the coffin with pain in my heart...

Why did this happen...

How didn't I know it was bad again...

How could he leave me...

I should have known

I pull out another pill from my pocket, antidepressants...

I swallow it without water, I know if I don't take these today I'm going to end up where he is... I know if I take too many I'll end up with him too

It's starting to seem like a good idea

Why...

Why leave me, I needed you, you had so much potential. We always had so much fun together I thought you trusted me, I thought you'd tell me it was getting bad again.

I would have done anything to help you. Anything at all. Everything.

I'm here for you... I was always here for you... Why couldn't you tell me? What did I do!

Was this my fault!? Did I cause you to do this?

Was I pushing you away?

I thought you could always tell me anything

I can't help remembering our first kiss...

We were in a park and it was night time... Everything was lit up by the street lamps surrounding it... The huge oak trees cast shadows over the park...

"Keith!" I called out. "Slow down!"

He just laughed and sped up. He looked so pretty... His hair blowing out behind him and his beautiful smile all over his face.

My heart clenches as I remember the rest of the memory.

"Keith! I cant keep up!" I yelled.

"No one can keep up! If I run fast enough maybe the world won't be able to bring me down! I'll be able to rout run my problems and be happy! If I just keep running everything will be ok!" He yells back speeding up again

I stopped running and started panting.

"What do you mean?" I asked

"If I keep running, nothing will catch up with me. The faster I go the further away everything will be" he shouted laughing.

At the time I thought nothing of it...

Keith...

When did you stop running...

You could have stopped with me and it wouldn't have ended this way if you have just slowed down and held my hand and I could have protected you...

If you had just trusted me...

I could have just helped...

I know how many pills they had you on... I know it fucked up your brain a bit but.... I wish you would have just come to me... I could have tried to help you...

Now you're dead...

And I'm left alone in this world...

You were all I had and all I still have... Except now I can't talk to you or kiss you I can only cry about you.... Visit your grave...

Keith I don't know if I can do this without you... I need you....

Please come back to me...

Tell me this was all a joke.