Disconnected [H.S]

Chapter Twenty Six

Okaaay so this is the last chapter of disconnected!:( I kind of don't want it to end! I had a lot of fun writing this book and thank you to everyone who has read it, commented on it or voted for it! Hope you all enjoyed reading it!:)

I CRIED WRITING THIS OK

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"Have you seen Harry recently?" My father asked letting himself into my bed room.

"No, why?" I questioned, I hadn't seen him since that day he came here and have honestly been really worried about him. I've been to the beach, I've been everywhere I thought he would be. but I can't find him.

"He hasn't turned up to his appointments in weeks and I'm kind of worried"

"Why are you worried?" I asked.

"Because the last time I saw him he seemed very, upset? He was talking about people who had killed themselves and how he thought they were very brave and things, and that he wondered what it was like. and I'm afraid he will do something stupid" He finished before walking out.

Oh shit.

•

"Can I help you?" I asked the woman who stood I front of me at our front door. Her green eyes being brought out by the pale colour of her face.

"He wanted me to give you this" She said quietly before placing a small envelope in my hand and giving me a small smile before turning around.

He? who was he?

My name was scribbled across the front on the envelope as I opened it taking out the note that was tucked inside.

'Dear Emily,

You may not know it but I've thought about suicide a lot recently.

committing it, people who have done it. what it would be like if I did it, would people care? would you care? people who attempted it but failed. what it would be like if I tried it and failed? what it would be like if I tried it again, What it would be like if I tried it again and failed again. the notes I would leave. if I'd go to heaven or hell, is heaven and hell real? if people would even notice, probably not. if I'd be missed, would you miss me? why people never noticed in the first place. how I got so good at hiding my sucide attempts. if someone secretly knew but waited to late, did you know? was it easy to tell? if I was the only one who thought about sucide this much? do you?

As you can see, you have also been on my mind a lot recently. and I can't help it. everything makes me think of you, everything I look at in some way reminds me of you and I can't stop it.

I hate it. I hate me. I hate the voices inside my head. I hate all the bull shit. I hate my reflection. I hate this generation. I hate society and the message it sends to people like me. I hate how judgemental people are, everyone apart from you judged me. everyone thought they knew my story and I just hated it. I hate all of it.

It's hard not to hate everything now-a-days, isn't it?

I'll be gone by the time you read this, but I'm sorry, I'm sorry I've hurt you. I'm sorry I made you miserable and I'm sorry I put you down.

If you do happen to find me please don't look. Please don't look at the cuts on my wrist. Don't look at me, don't look at the monster I had to destroy. But I won't be dead. I died years ago. I died the day I let sadness win. What you loved, if you even did love me, was the monster I became, the ugly creature that took me away.

God, I don't even know what to say anymore. This Is a pretty hard thing to write you know,

Where did all the words go?

Where are all my feelings hidden now?

Where is the happy young boy I used to be?

Where are all the dreams I had?

Where did myself go?

Everything is gone.

Gone gone gone gone gone.

Everything is gone and I feel so lonely, but soon I won't feel so lonely anymore and hopefully the angels will keep me company. just like you have.

Your my angel Emily.

I love you. I love you so fucking much, you're the only light I've ever known, you've changed me Emily. and I will never forget you, and I hope you won't forget me!

Have a great life as I'm sure it will be a lot happier with out me!

I love you, Emily.

Lots&lots of love

Harry x :)'

I felt as if I couldn't cry as I finished reading the note, But the moment my eyes skimmed over the small crooked smiley face scribbled next to his name at the bottom that's when I broke down. Crumbling the note up and throwing it across the room screaming for Harry as I fell to my knees.

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I CRIED SO HARD OK

And there will be a small epilogue posted asap:)