I Feel You [Jeon JungKook] One Shot

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A/N; If you want extra emotions. Listen to JungKook's cover if Ending Scene by IU.
Enjoy the angst.

Alone...

Once again all alone the girl walks inside her small and dark apartment. She drops her drenched bag on the floor and proceeds to take off her clothes as well. 

With each step, she takes into her cold and empty apartment she takes a garment off and leaves gravity to drag it down on the floor not really caring about the mess that will be made, it won't be the only mess in her life so why not just add another one? It won't harm.

She shivers when her wet hair touches her exposed back after she removed her shirt. The droplets slide down on her skin, some with difficulty and some with more ease.  If only the tears were willing to slide down her cheeks like the droplets from the rain.

It's been over three years since the last time she shed a tear over something and that is when it all started. Her family fell apart, soon after her father passed away and her mother became an alcoholic not being able to handle the loss- even if they had parted ways for a year. The girl was left alone. Her mother was always kept in detox centers, she needed only a week of freedom to relapse into drinking. The girl had to work on her own to make a living for herself and be able to attend the university she so hard had fought to get accepted into. And through all that, the girl did not once break down into tears. 

She was miserable, of course, she was angry, yet it all stayed within. She did not know how to express all those feelings. It was as if the moment she realized that her family was done for so was the ability to let emotions loose.  And with time, she stopped feeling those as well.

Nothing could trigger them. She reached a point where she prayed for a mental breakdown, for freedom, for expression, yet it never came. Not even the saddest of movies or writings could provoke an emotion to show on her face. She had become and still remains to be, a vessel. An empty vessel that is not powered by a soul but something completely different she hasn't discovered yet.

Once she's left in her underwear she walks into her bedroom and sits on the verge of her bed. Her eyes are empty. She feels a huge void that has only grown to eat her out over the years. She wants to hate it, yet she can't. She doesn't feel anything towards it. She's not even bothered by its existence, yet she knows she should be. She knows she should be experiencing emotions and she wonders why she doesn't. 

She remembers her teenage years, she'd cry so often over several things. Just a small poem with meaning was enough to have her bawling her eyes out. A simple sarcastic comment from her father was enough to have her spiral into an angry fight with him, over the way an onion should be cut; in cubes or half-moons.

She chuckles at the memory. That younger version of her would have cried for five days straight after hearing the news of her father passing. She wouldn't have gotten up the next morning to go to work like nothing had happened like her father was never really there.

"Life sucks," she mutters not wanting to walk through this void alone any longer.

Friends never really understood it. She never really opened up to them either. She hadn't revealed those things to them. She believed it would be pointless. No one could really ever help her other than herself and she has no idea how to do that, hence she's stuck on this endless point that the universe just doesn't want to mover her from.

"Can't I just genuinely react to something for once?" she questions while she looks at herself in the mirror-wall that expands opposite of her. She recalls all the times she has fake laughed to people's jokes or funny stories, all the times she's lied about feeling bad or sympathetic to something. She's not even bothered by the fact that she's a cruel liar, even if she knows she should be.