My Only Love (Choni AU)

Chapter 11: "I'm not scared of dying"

Toni's POV
We ran and ran. We never stopped until we reached Pop's.
"That was Tall Boy! He attacked you! Why would he do that?" Jughead said. His face was red with anger.
"I don't know but I need to lay down." I said I was exhausted, after all that running and the 3rd degree burns on my arms.
"We have to get you to a hospital." Betty said as she took off my jacket. It hurt badly I winced every time she moved it.
"No, no hospitals. I'll survive I just need a minute." I said. I hated hospitals....everything about them was just horrible.
"Are you sure? These burns look pretty bad and they could be infected." Betty said.
"Yeah I'll be fine." I said. I looked over to Cheryl. She was walking back and forth. She looked like she was planning a murder in her head.
"Well Betty and I are heading back to the the trailer park to talk to my dad. That asshole is not going to get away with this." Jughead said taking Betty's hand and storming out of the door.
"Hey." I said softly. Cheryl was pissed it was almost hot but I was in too much pain to notice.
"Why don't you want to go to the hospital? You could be seriously hurt TT." Cheryl said finally sitting down at a booth.
"Because I've had nothing but bad experiences there." I said looking down at my shoes.
"Like what? What could be so bad that you can't go to another hospital again?" Cheryl asked.
"When I was 8 years old everyday until it was my 9th birthday I spent everyday at the hospital. My mom had terminal cancer and everyday I held her hand during her chemo treatment. The doctor said she was doing good but then the next week the cancer came back and it was worse at that's how every week was. It was good and then it was bad....it was an endless cycle until one day I was reading to my mom and she fell asleep. I thought she was just sleeping so I kissed her head and said 'good night mommy' and went to sleep on the chair in her room the next day the doctor had asked me were my dad was but I didn't even know where he was because when my mom was diagnosed he left with a trace. The doctor then told me my mother was dead. That was when I knew I would never be happy again. I had no family. No one. I was moved from one foster home to another until I ran away and joined the serpents. I never turned back all I have are the serpents and you and without you guys.... I don't think I would be alive today." I said with tears rolling down my cheek. Cheryl didn't say anything she just hugged me tightly she didn't let go until I fell asleep. When I woke up we were in my trailer it was 3:45 am. I quietly stood up so I didn't wake Cheryl who laid next to me in my bed. I walk to the kitchen and open the cupboard a there laid a bottle of vodka. I didn't really drink until I really needed one. I was only 17 but it helped me relax and calm down and just get my shit together.
I drank about half the bottle. I sat in the living room sobbing. Some people would say I should be happy with what I have but still I was depressed...in moments I should be happy all I can think about is crying in the darkest corner. After everything I've been through I think it was safe to say I suffered from depression. I hated being sad but there was nothing to do or say to make me not be sad. It was just something I had to live with. I was very drunk when I walked out of my trailer. I couldn't even walk in a straight line. I walked to the main highway in Riverdale. I watch as the cars zoomed by. Even though it was 4am the cars and the city were alive. The city was still bright. I sat on top of a overpass high off the ground. I wasn't scared of falling. I was scared of just ending it all right here, right now. I walk across a thin beam. I struggled a little since I was drunk but I won't mind if I fell. I sat down on the thin beam and thought about life. I loved Cheryl but there was this sadness inside of me that ate away at me everyday and I can't take anymore.
I just can't.