The lonely bird (Shinkai)

A New Chance

Shinichi's POV

Pain numbed my mind, I felt the world to blur around me. God I couldn't remember anything this painful.

"Bear it Shinichi, bear it...!"

I could hear Haibara's voice close to me, it began to fade into distance. My whole body trembled as another pained scream forced itself out of my lips, Haibara was completely right to chain me against her desk. Else I would have fallen off of it since long.

Black spots appeared in my vision, I couldn't bear it anymore. My whole flesh felt as if on fire, flames lingering all over my skin and burning me alive. Yet all what caused this immense pain was a red capsule I took merely fifteen minutes ago.
I took the last step to return back into my old life.

Thirty minutes of growing aren't a problem, I thought. So many villains pierced my weak seven years old body with bullets, that bit of pain was easy.
God I never deduced anything to be this wrong.
My body twisted and turned inside the overwhelming agony, until finally the relieving darkness rescued me.

"...do... wake.... Kudo!"
My eyes fluttered open, eager to close themselves again as the familiar lamp of Haibara's laboratory blinded me from above. How much time had passed...? Did I make it?

I wanted to sit up but someone pushed me down, judging by the small fragile hand it was Haibara herself.
"Stay. Your body is still weak."
"Hai..."
I wasn't able for much more conversation at this point, luckily she knew me since some time by now and could guess what I wanted to know. A smile stretched across her face and she held a small handmirror in front of me.
"Look. You made it Shinichi. You are eightteen."

My eyes grew big, tears dwelling out because of the blinding lights. With trembling hands I slowly grabbed the mirror, turned my head left and right, examined every single detail of this oh so familiar face of Kudo Shinichi.
My body.
This was my body.
Edogawa Conan no longer existed.

There never had been a moment I broke into violent tears until now. If somebody would have told me my own reflection inside a mirror would make me this happy, I would have sent them into an asylum.
I blinked, my mirror image did the same.
This was real, I was real.

Finally I was able to see Ran, to speak with her, to reveal everything to her. I could leave this stupid elementary school behind and work on proper crimes without having one noisy detective shooing me away.
I could be a real part of society again.
No more early to bed.
No adult needed to accompany me anymore.

Freedom had such a sweet taste.

Haibara smiled casually as she studied my expressions changing from disbelief to overwhelming relief and finally let a sigh pass her lips.
"...I won't take the pill."
Immediately the smile vanished from my face and I eyed the girl up, confused about her statement. Not letting me formulate a question, she silently added a small explanation.
"Shinichi", she started, hesitant and for the first time sadness appeared inside her eyes, "I don't have a life anymore. Most of the Black Organization is down and still... there are still members outside. My family is dead... and I worked for the enemy since I could think. I have nothing."

She made a small pause to study my reaction, then took her chance to continue again.
"Miyano Shiho has nothing... Miyano Shiho is dead. Haibara Ai has everything. Friends, family and a new chance... A new chance to restart life. To chance decisions and fight for the good inside the world."
I smiled at her as she said these words, trying to reassure her. I wasn't the best person if it came to feelings but I understood her. It took quite some time to let go of Conan as well and I wasn't sure if I would miss his life, surrounded by friends and family, but I still had a good life despite everything as Kudo Shinichi.
"I understand."
"But don't think now that you are ten years older than me I'll let you off of the hook, Kudo Shinichi. I will keep preventing you from your risky bullshit. And don't you dare chasing criminals alone into a dark alley again, heard it?"

I couldn't help than to smile cheekily as I rolled my eyes. Haibara never talked about her feelings but this still showed me how much she valued me as a friend.
Slowly I began to feel my limbs again to the point I sat up, almost falling over because of the weight difference of my body. As I sat there on her desk, trying to calm my pounding head, a thought came into my mind.

"KID", I mused.
"My legs are longer now, this time I will catch him."
Haibara chuckled and helped me onto my feet once again, letting me adjust my red tie. This was the beginning of a new era.
This was the beginning of a new chance.