Is This Love? | Ziall

Prologue

-REWRITTEN ON AUGUST 31, 2013.-

Sometimes in life, you fall for the people that hurt you. You fall for those who hate you with such passion, and you fall for who they are. But sometimes in life, it takes a turn. The one you fell for, the one that hurt you, the one that hated you, falls for you in return. And not all love stories fall into a happy ending. Niall knows that. He's been through hell and back, and he knows that his life will never have a happy ending. He knows that he'll never find love. 

Niall's a fag. A worthless piece of shit. He doesn't deserve to live. No one loves him, no one needs him. If someone did, wouldn't they tell him? Wouldn't they say that everything would be fine? Wouldn't they comfort him?

No. They wouldn't. Because Niall was a mistake. He was a disgrace to the world. He didn't fit in, he wasn't wanted here on earth. His own parents didn't want  him. He came out as a gay person to his family on his 15th birthday, hoping that they would be like the families who accept their child and just want them to be happy, but no. They were ashamed of him. They wouldn't let him make contact with them, they wouldn't let him talk to them, nothing.

The only way that Niall would come in contact with his parents was when they would give him money. Other than that, his dad would stay in his office, his mom would stay in her room, and his brother would stay in his room while the maids assisted Niall's needs. 

He always asked himself, "what did I do to deserve this?", and he would be reminded of what he did wrong. He was disgusting. He wasn't wanted in society. He was nothing. To his parents, to his brother, to his "friends", and especially to the person who hated him more than anything; Zayn Malik.

Well of course, Zayn Malik had his group of friends. There was Liam Payne, the jock. Quite weird, actually, seeming that Zayn was never one to play sports or be friends with a jock, always claiming that they were stuck up and snobby.

Liam had quiffed chocolate brown hair that was shaved on both sides of his head. He had deep brown eyes that you could get lost in if you stared long enough, and he was quite toned. In conclusion, Liam was a stunning boy, and he knew it.

Then there was Harry Styles, the flirt of the school. Rumor has it, he even slept with a few of the staff to get higher marks in classes that he was failing in. He's openly gay, which makes Niall confused as to why Zayn hates him so much. Maybe it's because he wasn't popular.

Harry had coffee brown hair, that was naturally unruly and curly, giving it a sexy, "just-got-out-bed" type look. He had emerald green eyes that could hypnotize you if you dared to look into them, because of the almost angelic color floating in them.

And Zayn. Oh Zayn. He was flawless. He looked like God himself had chiseled his face out of diamonds, because Zayn looked absolutely perfect. He was the complete opposite of Niall. Zayn had tan skin, whether as Niall had a pale complexion. Zayn's eyes were a honey golden brown, while Niall's were an ocean blue. Zayn had jet black hair, while Niall was a bleached blonde boy. Everything about them was the opposite of each other, but still somehow, Niall was deeply attracted to Zayn.

Even if Zayn hurt him even more than his parents, even if Zayn hurt him more than Niall hurt himself, he was okay with that. Niall knew that he loved Zayn, even if it costed him his own health. But Zayn could never know that he loved him. The beating would get worst. The threats would get worst. But most importantly, Niall would feel more and more unloved.

What hurt the most was the fact that Niall didn't even know why Zayn did this to him. One of his best friends, Harry, was gay, and Niall didn't understand what made him different. But what Niall didn't know, what that Zayn was hiding his own secret.

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Niall Horan. A name that was glued in Zayn's mind permanently. He didn't understand why, but he just thought about the Irish lad all the time. But he was constantly angry. Mad at the fact that his parents didn't pay attention to him. Angry at the fact that his best friends tormented the one guy he loved, and absolutely furious at the fact that he loved another guy.

Gay was wrong. It wasn't accepted in this society, and it wasn't how Zayn's parents raised him. He wasn't gay. He refused to accept the fact that he loved another man. Which was why he took out on Niall through punches, slaps, and the pleasure he got from seeing someone else's pain. 

After the beatings were done, he would make sure that Niall was unconscious before apologizing to him, and cuddling him, and savoring every moment of warmth coming from Niall's body. He wished he could do this with him in public. The little kisses, the cute cuddles, the holding hands, the romantic walks in the park, and as cliche as it sounded, he wanted to be able to grow old with Niall.

But Zayn knew that he wasn't able to do that because of what he had become, and what he had done to Niall. And that was something Zayn would never forgive himself for.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

what do you guys think? (: thanks for reading. xx 

NONE OF THE OTHER CHAPTERS HAVE BEEN EDITED YET, I WILL EDIT THEM WHEN I HAVE THE TIME TO. (or completely re-write them like I did here)

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