𝙜𝙗𝙜 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨

thirty-six questions 》inotorious

originally published: feb 1st 2019
updated: july 11th 2019

word count: 2617
requested by: lapisprincesslibby
slight trigger warning (depressing themes mentioned)

-

When your friend, who was also your roommate, had told you she could get you a date, you instantly shut her idea down.
"No way, F/N," you snapped at her. "I have no luck with guys and my luck probably won't turn up anytime soon."
"Shut the fuck up Y/N, you've been whining about finding someone for so long and I think I have the solution right here." She pointed to a newspaper article, a smug grin plastered across her face.
"So a fucking article convinced you that I, Y/N, the one with the loner reputation, could get a date." You deadpanned.
"Yep! Just read it," she shoved the newspaper in your hands. "Trust me man."
"The last time I trusted you with anything, I ended up having to wash strawberry jam off my entire body."
She grunted and walked off to her room, leaving you at the kitchen's island to look at the article. You quickly glanced at the paper in your hands, then back to where your friend had walked off. What she said was true, you were lonely and it was kicking you in the ass. You just needed someone to cuddle and joke around with, and most importantly, be yourself with. Your last ex had been a complete asshole, and you weren't going to risk getting back into that, as much as you missed kissing and holding someone's hand.
"Fuck emotions, they're so stupid." You grumbled to yourself. As you looked back to the article in your hands, you decided fuck it, might as well. Grabbing a glass of water and sitting down at the counter, you started to read the bullshit your friend had given you.

-

"So... you plan to make me fall in love with someone with... 36 questions?" You asked F/N when she walked back into the kitchen.
"Oh! You actually read it? Holy shit I didn't think you would," she giggled before continuing to talk. "And no, by the way. Well, maybe - it's all up to fate." You groaned as she said that.
"Then what is it then?"
"You get to know each other! Imagine it as a date, except you're locked in a room and kidnapped by the FBI because you were caught with 50 pounds of cocaine." You arched an eyebrow as she said that.
"That sounds more like prison."
"It's an interrogation. Now Y/N, where did you hide the fucking cocaine." F/N said dead serious, before breaking out into a fit of laughter as you rolled your eyes and smirked.
"Answer the fucking question, dumbass." You flicked her forehead, awaiting for what other rambling she had coming.
"Alright alright, I'll tell you. It's just so you get closer with the person and don't have to deal with awkward dates. And hey, with those questions, you may find your true love." She waved her arms around slowly as she finished her sentence.
"The whole thing sounds like a fucking test, as if we're animals." You replied, pointing to the article.
"Which we are, by the way - listen, I won't put you up with a complete stranger. I'll set you up with one of my friends."
"Who is a stranger to me!" You exclaimed.
"I know him, you'd like him. He's really funny and nice." F/N smiled, putting her hand on your shoulder, trying to calm you down.
"This is like a blind date." You glared at her.
"But it's not. You're in a room and just to piss you off, you aren't allowed to have your phone. You talk to him, you have a nice conversation, and if you don't like him, you can go back to whining about never finding a boyfriend." There was a moment of silence before she added in, "I'll pay you $100."
"BET."

-

You were honestly regretting saying that. Here you were, waiting for F/N to come back with her friend, Matt. Was the $100 really worth it? Probably not. But you couldn't text her since she had taken your phone a few minutes prior. There was no backing out now, and you didn't want to seem like an asshole in front of Matt by saying you didn't want to do the whole 36 questions thing. 'Either I like him or I don't end up liking him. Two simple options. It'll be over before I know it, and I'll go on still whining for the rest of my life about how lonely I am.' You thought to yourself before snapping out of it as the door to your dorm opened wide, showing F/N with a tall guy behind her.
"Matt, this is N/N. N/N, this is Matt." She had a shit-eating grin across her face as she introduced you to each other. You couldn't lie, this guy was good looking. But then you started to freak out. 'Oohhhhh shit F/N made a huge fucking mistake there's no way a guy this handsome can like me!' You thought to yourself as your smile was replaced by a slight frown. You were trying to mask your anxiety as best as possible and quickly put on a small grin and put your hand out for Matt to shake.
"Nice to meet you." You said, desperately trying to hide your blush.
"You too."
"Now, you two gotta connect over this set of questions I've made for you." F/N interrupted, handing you a few sheets of paper.
"We don't get to choose our own questions?" You and Matt groaned. "Nope, because N/N will make it all awkward and probably ask when was the last time you fucked, and Matt would ask some dumbass question like, 'how's the weather?' etcetera etcetera." Your friend replied, making you both glare at her.
"I would certainly not ask when was the last time Matt fucked. I'd ask when was the last time he snorted crack though." You grinned, trying to lighten up the tension with humour. 'Success', you thought to yourself as Matt and F/N bursted out into laughter.
"Anyways. I'll leave you to it. Matt, I have your phone here." Your friend showed him the phone, which was now in her hand.
"Wh- how'd you get that?!" He asked, so sure that he had left it on the counter back in his room. Instead of giving an answer, F/N backed away from the room, closing the door quickly and leaving the two of you be.
"So..." you muttered, flinching a bit at the awkward silence in the room. "So." Matt mumbled back. "Did she make you read the dumbass article too?"
You laughed, remembering you had thought the same thing earlier when you had read it. "Yeah, I did. Guess you think it's bs too, huh?"
"Definitely. I mean, 36 questions can make you fall in love just like that?" He snapped his fingers to prove his point.
"That's what I thought!" You exclaimed, grinning as he smiled at your energy. "I'm honestly debating whether we should ask each other the question just to humour F/N."
"What've we got to lose? We're stuck here for a while and the questions can't be that bad." Matt replied, taking the question sheet from your hands and chuckling a bit as you said 'Hey! I had that,'.
"Question one," he started, glancing at you to see if he had your attention. "Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?" You chuckled a bit as he put on a mock-British accent as he said 'whom'.
"Umm... can I say Deadpool? Because that'd definitely be one fucking weirdass dinner and I would love to experience that." Matt laughed at your answer.
"You'd probably get shot in the head by him!"
"What if I offer him another dinner. Do you think he'd spare me?" You smirked as you leaned in closer.
"He'd probably still kill you. I'm sure your cooking can't be great." You put a hand to your heart in mock-offense, gasping over dramatically - you took in so much air you started to choke on it and coughed up a lung.
"Shit, are you okay? I didn't know someone could hurt themselves like that, Jesus Christ." He put a hand to your back, patting it to let you catch your breath.
"I- I was- gonna say that my cooking is fucking splendid, thank-you-very-much." You playfully glared at him after getting over your coughing fit.
"I'll hold you to that." You both relaxed back in your chairs.
"How about you? Who would you have as a dinner guest? The green M&M? She's sexy." Matt and you both burst out laughing as you said that.
"No way- I'd want Shaggy. He could fucking annihilate me using only 0.1% of his power and I'd thank him."
"Ah, self-deprecating jokes. I see you are a man of fine taste."