GLOBAL WARMING: THE REAL CAUSE

THE BASIC CAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING

SD: we are gathered here today to discuss global warming on this show thing ig called 

GLOBAL WARMING: THE REAL CAUSE

hosted by Dark

only the truest information here

Lancer: why

SD: because I said so fuck you

Lancer: wanna

SD: no

go fuck Edge

Edge: w h a t

SD: eheheh

anyway moving on

we are gathered here today to discuss the cause of global warming which Dark has discovered and will share with us

Edge is most likely alarmed and concerned for Dark's sanity

alright Dark

Dark: ALRIGHT KIDDIES

so

y'all know the Big Bad Wolf

but did you know

that HE'S the cause of global warming???

Aitetsu, Kotetsu, and Hansel: **g a s p**

Dark: I N D E E D

he is

let me explain to you how he does it

the BBW, aka the Big Bad Wolf, aka potentially Big Boss Woman which is the first thing that comes to SD's mind when she writes that long rant sentence there lemme start again

the BBW causes global warming

because of his H U M M U S F A R M

Edge: hummus farm

?

?

?

Dark: hummus farm

Edge: got it... ig

Dark: now this hummus farm would be fine if it weren't run right next to CLARK AIR BASE

Edge: dude that place is abandoned

Dark: exactly

Receiver: and potentially haunted

Dark: E X A C T L Y

Edge: now I remember why I was questioning your sanity

Dark: okay

now because Clark Air Base is abandoned

it needs a power source

and in order for it to have a power

SD: A COIL OF COPPER SPINS IN A MAGNETIC FIELD AND ELECTRONS FLOW

don't mind me

had to memorize that line for a science test the other day

Dark: no one cares

in order to have power

Clark Air Base runs on the power of Goldfish snack crackers

with exception of one lone(ly) goldfish tenant that lives on the hummus farm

all that guy does is haul in goldfish for the base so that he can continue living on the hummus farm because he doesn't have money to pay rent