Dark: welcome back to
GLOBAL WARMING: THE REAL CAUSE
Edge: oh god
Dark: TODAY WE HAVE TWO TOPICS
Edge: i'm so scared
Dark: YOU BETTER BE
Edge: why are you screaming
Dark: pffft idfk
Len: shut the fuck up and get on with it
Dark: okee
so anyway
FIRST TOPIC
is REWRISTANCE
Len: you mean resistance
Dark: no
REWRISTANCE
Len: what does that even mean
Dark: shut up and let me talk
now
the goldfish living on the singular Philippine have recently developed
REWRISTANCE
Edge: you need help
Dark: now REWRISTANCE
refers to how these goldfish have recently mutated to have
W R I S T S
Len: w h a t
what about arms
Dark: oh so you know how goldfish snack crackers only have tails but no actual fins apart from that
well they have fins now
and between their body and the fin
they have
a
W R I S T
Len: you
need to stop
Dark: ne v e r
Len: fuck
Dark: tis a great rewristance
Edge: are you done yet
Dark: nO i still havent explained restraining orders
Edge: we all no what a-
Dark: sshshshshhshshhshshh
Edge: okay whatever
Dark: a restraining order
is how they get unwilling victims to the hummus farm to be put into the hummus
Len: well that's dark
Edge: well that was an awful pun
Len: fuck you
Edge: Lancer already did
Len: why are my modules like this
Dark: GUYS IM TRYNNA EXPLAIN HOW RESTRAINING ORDERS WORK
Edge: okay shut up Len he's talking
Len: wha-
Dark: so a restraining order
i will now demonstrate
who'd like to volunteer
Bebop: ME
Dark: hell no- wait
actually yes that would be perfect
now you guys have heard of
Swing Dancing
if not
it doesn't matter
Edge: no one cares get on with it
Dark: fine
Bebop we're gonna do the move called the
Wrap
Bebop: cool
Dark: i'm filing a restraining order against you
**so liek the part where one partner is "wrapped" idk**
Bebop: this like a straitjacket
Dark: exactly
Bebop: wait shit where'd the straitjacket magically appear from
Dark: it appeared from me filing a restraining order against you
begone
to the hummus farm
b I T c H
Bebop: aw
Senbu: **yeets Bebop to the hummus farm by summoning Jason the cheetah**
Dark: now we're just going to ignore the fact that Bebop is currently being turned into hummus
Edge: pls chill
Dark: i am
Edge: whatever you say...
Dark: fweeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Edge: what are you on
Dark: PARADICHLOROBENZENE
Edge: shoulda known
Dark: dont tell Starmine
STarmine: DARK
Dark: oh shit
**eats them moth balls yeet**
Starmine: DARK
Dark: nOTHING HAPPENED I SWEAR
Edge: you need help
Dark: Mineeeeeeeeee you can't yell at me here i'm hosting a show
thing
idk what it is actually
Mine: DARK
Dark: shshshhshshhh let me end today's broadcast thingamashit then we can fuck
Mine: that's not-
Dark: shSHSHSHHSHSHHHHHHHHHHH
Mine: ffs
Dark: until next time on
GLOBAL WARMING: THE REAL CAUSE
YOU ARE READING
GLOBAL WARMING: THE REAL CAUSE
Non-FictionGLOBAL WARMING IS THE FAULT OF THE BIG BAD WOLF MORE INFORMATION INSIDE THIS VERY IMPORTANT DOCUMENT/WATTPAD BOOK In which Dark, the host of Global Warming: The Real Cause, explains the real cause of global warming in alarming detail. Edge is there...
