Dear Starboy {TomTord Neighbourhood AU, COMPLETE REUPLOAD}

pretty lies

tord was helpless.

he had been laying on his silky bed
sheets, taking his time in perfectly
looping his handwriting for the most
recent letter he'd send to tom.

tord had loved tom from the start. the
way he acted like he was too cool for
everyone else but under his visage was secretly a dork.

he hadn't planned on tom knowing he
was his admirer, but now that they were officially dating, he considered signing under his true identity.

crash.

an echoing sound of shattering
glass filled the house next door. tord
shrugged it off with little thoughts of tom accidentally dropping a coffee mug or plate. something stupid.

it was around 10 at night when tord
caught sight of a hooded figure angrily slamming a door and storming into their room.

his prince. tom.

tord slipped his note into a crisp candy red paper envelope. he tucked it under his feathery pillow and sauntered over to the window.

"evening, boyfriend."
"tord."

tord was taken aback by the sudden icy tone in his gruff voice.

on second glance, tom did look different. his blue pullover hoodie practically hid his face, but tord didn't miss the narrow wet lines streaking tom's rosy cheeks.

"hey, are you okay?"
"are you sure?"
"you really don't seem-"
"i said i'm fine!"

tord sank back into his room, fiddling
with a glinting white fairy light.

"i was only trying to help."

tom felt a pang of guilt but immediately pushed it aside. staying with tord would only hurt the both of them. tord would be more worried in a relationship with tom than without.

at least that's what he kept telling
himself.

"tord."
"tom."
"you know we're friends."
"yes?"
"that's why i'm breaking up with you."

tord felt his heart tearing itself to pathetic shreds. his face turned grim as he bit his bottom lip to stop it quivering.

"but.. you love me."
"we can't be together."
"is it your dad? we can runaway and-"
"no tord. i can't love you."

lies. filthy lies.

tom felt remorse and pain flooding over him in a painful wave.

"we can't do this."
"why, am i not good enough?"

no. you're perfect. i'm not good enough.

"tord. let's just leave it at that."
"no. what did i do wrong?"

nothing. i'm the one who made
mistakes.

"tord. just leave it."
"am i too weird? am i what they saw
me as too? the weird gay boy with the
fucked up eyes and obsession with
stars? the freak that was unloveable?"
"no."
"do you have any idea how much that
hurt? how many tears i wasted on
trying to change myself? how many
scars lined my ugly body because it
wasn't good enough?"
"listen."
"no! you listen to me! i finally thought
somebody accepted and loved me for
who i was. but no. he was just a liar
abusing me in the worst way possible.
do you know how broken i feel?"

tom couldn't ignore the tears brimming tord's beautiful eyes, spilling over and forming damp streams on his fragile pale skin.

"look at me, tom."

tom shook his head, following small
dancing crows with his eyes. he did
love tord. but all he'd do would hurt
him. more than the pain of heartbreak.

if tom didn't leave tord, his dad would
probably kill him.

"look me in the eyes. look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me."

tom felt his shoulders tremble violently as he muffled his sobs into his closed lips. his face turned to tord.

the boy he'd loved.

the one who was now sniffling noisily,
desperately wiping his tears with his
red hoodie sleeve.

"i don't love you."

tord smiled through his aching pain and tearful shivers. he tugged at his pink curtains; mumbling a quiet farewell before shutting them.

"goodbye, tom."

tord was helpless.
helplessly heartbroken.