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forgetting, may it be a lot, or little, is always less painful than remembering. —q.byme
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⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ sleep paralysis was a normal occurrence, of course, but, recently it had became more frequent; more realistic, and it had begun to create a rise of fear whenever it were to happen. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ in the beginning of these occurrences, they were simple, yet sinister psychological hallucinations, and after about ten times, he'd gotten used to it. his family was long dead, gone from the slaughter that happened in this same, exact home a month ago, and he thought; just maybe, that the paralysis was all caused by the trauma of seeing the throats of his parents gauged out in front of him, witnessing his sister getting raped as he was held back, restrained, and forced to watch. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ sadly, quite frequently, the things he saw were much, much worse than this, the longer it had gone on. he'd soon began to see another man, which at first, he thought was himself, but, it wasn't him at all. this man he'd see when his eyes were open, body completely frozen, called himself trey. for what reason, he did not know, and he honestly didn't have any consideration of asking, even though it had seemed so familiar. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ that night, like many, ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ started exactly the same. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ "what are you feeling right now, jisung?" trey had asked, sitting on the edge of the bed, and slowly, yet firmly, ran his hand up his chest, and to his neck. "tell me. i want to know." ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ of course. since the only thing jisung could do was talk, and move his eyes, he'd spoken like he was requested to do. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀"i-i don't know, trey." jisung muttered, his voice cracking as trey, with his fingers of his dominant hand brushing the nape of his neck, had began to turn into a grasp. "i'm scared. please, don't." ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "why not?" trey questioned. "this is all in your imagination, right? acting out your desires in such a way is okay-" he persuaded, his teeth nibbling at his collar bone. "please." ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀jisung was hesitant, and every time, trey would never force him into sex, which was a relief. although trey was desperate, he surely, most definitely, wasn't that desperate. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "very well then." hey cooed at his stiff, unbothered figure as his eyes, which had begun to water, had showed such a pleasing, and arousing emotion, for which trey had enjoyed. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "jisung..." trey had trailed off with his sentence, retracting his hand from the nape of the other males neck. "do you know who i am? do you remember?" ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ "no, i don't know who you are." jisung snapped harshly, wishing that he could lunge up, and push the male to the floor. "i don't know why i keep seeing you during my sleep paralysis, either. i don't want to see you anymore." ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ "i see..." trey dropped his head lightly, staring at his clenched hands which had been laying on his upper thighs, close to his abdomen. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "you said that to me all the time, and now you don't even remember me; yet, you say it regardless." trey rasped out, fighting the urge to break down, and cry. "did you really hate me that much?" ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ "what..." jisung paused, his eyes straining as he forced them to look to his side, and at trey. "what do you mean by that?" ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "even after my death, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ you still can't love me." ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀
