irreplaceable // ziam

v. yearning (melancholy)

Another painful month passes by and I still wait for him. It seems he must have forgotten about me or just completely swept me off my feet to just throw me off a cliff.

Of course when I realized that he'll never come back, my thoughts got the best of me and started to consume from the inside out. The self harm got deep, way too deep. Why did I do this to myself over a fucking boy? I don't know. I wish I knew. Have I gotten help? Eh. Depends on how you see it. Only going to the school counselor once about having "trouble" at school should count right? I'm really fucked up in the head for thinking that he would come back, then him not coming back, almost result in the biggest mistake of my life. But would it? Would it really be a mistake?

Okay maybe let's not get into that. Right now, ignoring the intrusive thought of Zayn is what's more important. That dick face slut who can't keep his dick in his pants and goes and fucks anything that moves.

Gosh I hate him.

"Liam?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, why?"

"You were just staring into nothing" 

"Oh... yeah, just thinking about some stuff."

Niall keeps his gaze on me, looking at me knowing that I'm keeping something from him. I smile in response.

"If that's what you have to say then, okay" He says and continues to eat his sandwich.

I'm in love with Zayn and I'm too far deep to get out and I need your help to get out but I can't burden you with this task. Your my bestfriend Niall, and I hate to see you worry about me...

Of course that's what I feel but too scared to say.

I look over my shoulder and see Zayn laughing and kissing Gigi on the table across the cafeteria.

It truly hurts to love someone you obviously can't have.