Make it all go away

Leaving

Dean sat there in stunned silence, as he cradled Sam's shaking form in his arms. He couldn't believe it, his big lump of a brother who'd always been able to make it through anything thrown at him, was sat here shaking in Dean's arms crying his eyes out. He was broken. He was finally broken, and Dean had no idea how to fix him. 

They sat like that for a good few hours before Dean finally felt Sam's breathing level out and just hoped for his sake he was too exhausted to have any more nightmares tonight. Dean slowly detached himself from Sam and went to pick up his phone as it had started vibrating. He didn't want to disturb Sam, so took his phone outside and sat down right outside the motel room door, it was Bobby.

"Dean, you called 20 times, what on earth's the matter boy?"

"Well I don't know if you could really say the problem is on earth Bobby." He knew his attempt at humor was weak, but he couldn't bare to be serious when he decided to tell Bobby about what Sam had said, that made it feel all too real to Dean. 

 "What in the devil are you taking about boy? Is it something to do with Sam?"

Dean didn't even know how to begin telling all this to Bobby.

"Look boy, if you'd rather come and talk to me in person that's fine, but I can't be making any cross country trips with this dud leg of mine."

Dean knew he'd have to tell Bobby about this, but Sam wasn't in any state to be travelling all over the  place, that left two possibilities, go in secret, or just leave Sam behind. 

"Okay Bobby, I'll be right over, I just need to sort out a few things first."

Dean hung up the phone and started heading back to the room, he hated himself for even thinking of leaving Sam like this, but sometimes it just had to be done. He crept around the room, collecting only the necessities, so being careful not to wake Sam in the process, and left Sam and note on the table letting him know he'd be back in a few days, Bobby said he needed his help urgently and didn't want to wake him. He also thought of adding a little extra on the bottom letting Sam know that he was safe now, and Lucifer would never be able to touch him again, but wanted to talk to Sam about that in person so left it off the note. 

He left the next 3 days pay for the room at the motel desk so that Sammy wouldn't have to worry about that as well as himself, and Dean left the motel in his impala almost immediately regretting his decision.

Sam woke up to an oddly silent room, he saw that Dean wasn't in there but simply presumed he'd gone out to buy food or beer or pie. The thing that struck Sam as most odd at that moment, was the fact he had had a completely undisturbed sleep for the first time in a very long while. He should have been more aware of the situation, but as he was actually feeling good at that moment in time, he simply nestled back under the covers to await Dean's return.

It was only after Dean didn't come back for hours, and it got to 3am that Sam started to worry. He got up and started looking around the room for clues when he saw that Deans duffle had gone along with half the the weapons. Sam was getting panicked now when he saw the note sitting on the table with his name on;

Sammy,

Had to go over to Bobby's for a few days, he needed help on a hunt, don't worry about me, I'll be back soon.

Dean

Sam stared at the piece of paper in his hands before feeling this swell of anger grow inside him at the thought that Dean had left him when he needed him the most. In a flurry of rage, Sam ripped up the piece of paper and started ripping over any furniture that he could get his hands on, even managing to upturn Deans bed. Sam was screaming as he was doing so, and before long he felt the first tears start to run down his cheeks, as he slumped against the opposite wall and let the tears fall free as sobs racked his body as he began wailing Deans name over and over.