Risk

Three

James has tried for weeks to get her to call him, text him, anything other than the silence she was giving him. It got to a point where he had given up hope that they could reconnect, be like they had been before. Yet, he still wanted her to know the truth, all of it. At the end, if she still didn't forgive him, then he had tried. He'd move on. She would deserve better anyway, young and beautiful enough to have her pick of more eligible men. much better than him.

But she did not deserve Sam Wilson. He knew that for sure.

James hated the little punk, a regular class clown always cracking jokes and flirting up a storm with whatever woman passed him. A typical Jock that James had no time for, maybe because he reminded him of what he used to be like in college. A player, something he'd hoped he'd grown out of by the age of 33.

Not only did he have to stand behind him in a line for coffee for five minutes, and hear about how he'd spend his whole Spring break drunk doing stupid shit, he also had to put up with his obvious crush on Natasha.

"She's something else, man." He sighed, smirking at his friend. "Fine as hell, never seen an ass like that that I couldn't have. I'll marry that girl one day, you watch me."

James frowned, biting back a response, but Sam's friend, Scott, replied for him.

"Wait...Didn't she say she'd rather die than be anywhere near you?"

"She says a lot of things." Sam wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, "She'll come my way again one day, I promise you that."

James left without his coffee, storming down towards his office to calm his temper. A flash of red hair caught his eye and he looked up to spot her as she was walking on her phone, oblivious to the world around her. She texted with her head down until he caught up to walk beside her, his heavy footfalls alerting her immediately to his presence. She cast him the side eyes and huffed.

"Tell me your didn't, Nat." he blurted our suddenly, low enough for no one to truly hear.

"Didn't what?" She frowned rolling her eyes, annoyed at her own curiosity, but barely looked up from her phone.

"Get with Sam Wilson on Spring break."

Her scoff was all the answer he really needed, but she continued anyway despite her want to ignore him forever. "Why? Cause that's the sort of thing a whore who sleeps with married men does?" She snapped under her breath at him. "Besides, you are one to talk..."

He sighed apologetically. "Natasha, I didn't mean-"

"To use me as a tragic way to fuck you better through a failing marriage and mid life crisis? Apology not accepted." She replied curtly, walking briskly away from him.

She might as well have kicked the air out of his lungs, and for a brief moment he almost let her walk away. Shocked and hurt as her words stung him with reality. Maybe it had been that way in the beginning, but only for a moment. It was meant to be a drunken fling, a one night thing with a girl he'd never see again or learn the name of. But after one night he had something with her, something he'd never found with anyone else. Something he was willing to risk his career and reputation for.  He glanced round, seeing there was no one else on the corridor with them and gently took her arm, keeping a firm enough grip to guide her into an empty classroom without hurting her.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" She hissed as she pulled her arm away, glaring his way but still never looking him in the eye. "I want absolutely nothing to do with you, don't you understand?"

"Natasha you don't know the full story-"

"Is she your wife?!" She demanded, holding her hand up when he tried to explain once more. "Answer me, is she your wife?"

"Yes, But-"

"And legally, you're still married?"

"We are, But we-"

"And were you meeting up with her while I was away? Did you have plans to do that?"

He swallowed, guilt dragging him down as he softly nodded. "I did, it was-"

"And at any point, from meeting me until then did you mention any of this to me?"

"No..."

She finally looked at him, and he could see how her eyes crumbled slightly from staring into his. Visibly dulled her sparkle from his betrayal. He'd done that to her, and it killed him. "But I can explain everything."

"That's all I need to know. We have nothing to discuss now, Barnes." She said fiercely, swallowing the lump in her throat as she walked past him with her head held high. She would not show him how she felt, act like this affected her in any other way than anger. She was Natasha Romanoff, unbreakable. Untouchable. Not one to ever cry over boys or men or anyone.

She was also heartbroken. Embarrassed. Ashamed. She hadn't realised how much she had cared for this man, loved him even, back when it was new and exciting and just them. The crushing feeling of regret was weighting her down, tearing at her heart and her mind like a caged animal, devouring her from the inside out.

And the anger.

At him. At herself for her naive mind and stupidity that she had allowed someone to treat her that way. A side chick. She had fallen for the wrong guy. The kind that cheats his way out of relationships. She'd spend her vacation either drowning in vodka or laying in silence by the pool, tanning and drinking to make herself feel better.

It hadn't worked.

Sure, she was carefree from the booze and glowing like a goddess, attracting plenty of attention. But she didn't want any of it, she only wanted his. And at the same time, that was the last person she wanted. It messed with her mind until she packed up a few days early and went home to her parents, just needing time to remember that she didn't need anyone but them. And regardless of anything, a hug from her mother always helped.

Of course, Wanda was concerned too. By the time she walked back into their apartment not far from campus, she looked up from her phone and removed her headphones as her roommate leaned against the door, eyes glazed over, lips tight in concentration to harbour her emotions. She blinked once in surprise, shocked to see Natasha anything other than fiercely strong and carefree. She immediately got up from the sofa.

"Now are you gonna tell me who's ass I have to kick for making you feel like this?" She asked, raising a brow. Tough love was their thing, they told each other everything as it was and they loved one another for it. Wanda has spent the better half of their vacation looking out for her, questioning her on her mood and keeping the boys at bay for Natasha's sake. She didn't really feel like having to bail her out after she would have murdered someone for pinching her ass. Though she almost murdered Sam herself for his ridiculous lies about how Natasha had a thing for him.

Natasha swallowed hard, keeping the tears at bay successfully but only just.

"I'll find out eventually, so you might as well say." Wanda folded her arms, "Its been months, Natasha. We tell each other everything, what have you got to hide?"

Nothing. She had absolutely nothing to hide. Not anymore, and her naivety showed once more as she stuck with her opinion that it wasn't a big deal, never had been. They were just two people dating quietly. Half the world did that all the time. What did it matter if it was-

"Barnes." She sighed heavily, a release of a tension as the relief washed over her. No more secrets, with Wanda at least. " Fucking, Professor. James. Barnes. A married man, apparently."

She finally looked to her friend, watching her jaw practically hit the floor and immediately she regretted saying it out loud as she saw Wanda struggle to control the shock from her face. She dropped back to sit on the sofa, letting out a soft "Holy shit..."

She'd have a lot to answer for now.