Risk

Thrity One

He joined her out on the beach where she was now sat more upright, reading through her book. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye as he joined her and got himself comfortable. He lathered sunblock onto his arms, observing the beauty of the beach as he did so.

"How have you been? Enjoying freedom from work for a few weeks?" Natasha asked, trying to stop the awkward silences being quite as awkward.

"Sort of." He shrugged. "I repainted the living room, did a few DIY bits. Went and stayed with my family for the weekend, Ma's still asking for you..." she tensed slightly. She felt awful that she could disappoint his mother, worse than she would for her own. She didn't like how he brought it up.

"Saw how big little Joey was getting," he continued. "That freaked me out since it reminded me what an old uncle I am."

"You are ancient now," She shrugged and he pressed his hand to his heart.

"Ouch." He teased with a short laugh. "I think I'm in my prime, personally."

"What colour have you painted the living room?" She asked, not enjoying the arrogance he seemed to display. A defence barrier.

"Grey." He shrugged and she frowned a little trying to imagine it.

"Like a light grey, or a dark grey."

"Light grey. Back to the original colour it was when I moved it, real estate agent said it would sell better if it was brighter."

"You're selling?" She asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, I thought I told you I wanted to move somewhere, well, bigger? Like a home."

Natasha bit her lip then let it go quickly, remembering the original plan was for her to join him. After graduation she would move more of her stuff in, have a say in house viewings and decorating. Maybe if she had left under different circumstances they'd be doing that now. That had obviously changed.

"Oh yeah." She commented vaguely. "Any lucky then, finding somewhere new?" She tried to keep the conversation going.

"Haven't looked properly, really. I haven't really been ready to look for anything, too much change in a short space of time." He rubbed the back of his neck.

She hummed in response, watching the people swimming and surfing in the sea beyond the sand since she didn't know the best way to reply to that.

"What about you?" He asked after a moment, and she flicked a page over on her book. "How have you been?"

"I've been fine." She shrugged, "Keeping busy."

"Really?" He asked again, disbelieving. "Fine?"

"Do you want the honest answer, or the one that will make you feel better?" She asked, an irritated hint of warning in her tone.

"Well, honesty would be a good start since "fine" is another lie..." he half murmured without thinking, and she lifted her head to look at him properly.

"Ouch." She raised her brows as she mimicked him from earlier. "Alright then. I've been pretty shit, and that's not to make you feel bad because I should feel pretty shit. I'm a shitty person, that did a shitty thing. But I know that, so if you're here just to be a daily reminder of how much of a shorty person I was, then that makes you a pretty shitty person too."

He held up his hands, taken aback slightly by the outburst. "I'm sorry Nat, that was mean. I-"

"Yeah, it was." She snapped her book shut and got up. "You can't jut show up and pretend you want to see me then act like this! Stop pretending you haven't shut me out for weeks, and if you've flown all the way here just to remind me how pissed off you still are, then you've wasted your time. "