If You Let Me

4💜

I'm not the average girl from your video
And I ain't built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be
-India.Arie
Lilian
"Why don't I love myself?" Is the question I'm tired of hearing I don't love myself because there is nothing to love about me.yeah yeah I'm not fat at all just thick I play sports and all that other good stuff but I'm not happy physically,emotionally and most importantly mentally no one knows what goes through this mind of mines most people just say "oh it's just depression you'll get over it" but I don't Im tired of just getting a pat on the back and the "I'm here for you" or the "I understand" and the most played out one is "just put it in god hands" me constantly saying I'm tired is an understatement I just wanna take all the pain away the scars I have tell a story behind every one my smile it's a story behind that to and my electro thoughts.The reason I cut and smoke so much is to numb the pain even though it's only temporary the person I thought 💭 who supposed to protect me end up hurting me the most he took the one thing I had left Cameron Hills knew what I was going through at home and still acted like the rest he had the ability to tear me down and build me back up and my dumbass still stayed the shit got to the point where he'll beat me till he couldn't recognize my face I made up so many excuses to cover up for his sorry ass but I thought that was love he constantly raped me until one day I fought back like Tina did Ike that nigga had me all types of fucked up up I was tired of his ass ,but the abuse never stopped my "god brother " Stephen did the same thing that went on until I ran away know one knows about my horrible history and I'll like it to stay that way but something in my past is bound to pop up and mess up my future

"Death anxiety is anxiety caused by thoughts of death"