Fake You Out - Joshler

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Josh rides in the car in silence, not wanting to speak to Andrew about what happened in the car accident, or what happened with Tyler while he was living with him or what happened with Tyler to make him want to leave. He doesn't know everything Andrew knows, nor does he really care right now. He feels overwhelmed in a way that wears his body down, like he can't catch his breath. His muscles feel tight, like his movement is limited, and his head is spinning. He can feel flashes of memories entering his mind, blinding him as they play out in his mind.

He rests his head against the cool glass of the window, watching as house after house, street after street, city after city passes them by. He doesn't keep track of the turns and twists of the streets, the ones leading him away from the lies, but he makes note of the time by watching as the sun disappears along the horizon, telling him just how much time and miles separate him from the Josh he thought he was and the Josh he really is.

The car is slowing to a stop in front of a brick building with a rod iron fence and gate in front of it. Josh sits up slowly, staring at the building for a moment before he remembers that his apartment is on the second floor, left side of the staircase.

"I live here, right?" Josh asks, tearing his eyes away from the building to look at Andrew. He feels like he needs confirmation for everything and even though he can only remember Andrew in patches, he knows that he was someone he trusted before the car accident, the one that robbed him of his life and not in a literal sense, not like Andrew's brother but in a different way.

Andrew nods, bobbing his head up and down. "Do you need me to stay with you for the night or will you be okay?"

Josh's silent for a moment, mulling it over in his head before he sighs, shaking his head. "No, I think I'll be okay. It's been a really overwhelming day and I just want to be alone for a while. I still don't have all the pieces of my life back, I can see some of them, but I'm missing chunks, specifically ones revolving around the accident and I just... I need time to figure this all out."

Andrew nods his head, smiling sadly for a moment. "They said he didn't feel anything when he died, they told me it was quick and painless. I'm not sure if I believe them, but... It's better than knowing you both suffered, right?"

Josh swallows thickly, feeling ashamed that he can't offer his friend more information about his brother's death, but Josh can't remember it. He can hear metal scraping against concrete, he can hear screaming and shouts, can smell the blood and the smoke of the car, but he can't remember anything specifically, he can't see any memories of the accident. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, just sad I wasn't here for you guys," Andrew says, a small smile spreading across his face. He looks at Josh for a moment, fumbling around until he finds a pen and a napkin, scribbling some numbers on it. "This is my number. I'm assuming you lost your phone in the accident; I tried calling you when I got back but you never answered and after a few weeks of searching I heard about Anthony and the hospital. Anyway, call me if you need me, okay? Please, you've got a landline, don't hesitate to use it."

"I will, thanks," Josh says taking the napkin. He smiles at Andrew before he goes to step out of the car.

"Shit, one more thing," Andrew says, forcing Josh to wait. "The login code for the gate and door is 3618, and this," he pauses, turning off the car and pulling the key out of the ignition so he can take one off of the keychain, handing it over towards Josh. "I've got the spare. Kind of how I figured out you hadn't been around in a while."

Josh nods, accepting the key before he steps away from the car.

The key code works at the gate and at the front door and as he trudged up the stairs he feels a heavy weight settle in the bottom of his stomach, like he's nervous to see what waits behind the wooden barrier. He slips the key in, taking a deep breath before he turns it, pushing open the door slowly.