She was young , 17 to be exact, she was beautiful, not the obvious kind that takes your breath away, the kind you see because she made you do a double take, she never knew it, she was insecure and maybe a little broken.
He was perfect. Grey e...
It's moving Day, the day when I have to leave behind everything I've known and grown to love, and start all over again. I wanted to bawl my eyes out, but instead I sucked it up , picked up the last of my boxes and walked right out the door. "Goodbye Old Friend" I said silently. I'll admit that was a tad bit dramatic, in my defence, for the past seven years it's all I've known. I hopped into our family car, A Range Rover Vogue SE , don't ask me the year model or anything like that, I suck at anything related to cars. I looked into my handbag for the familiar pink and black book. My diary. This may seem weird to most people but yes I do have a diary, I'm 17, I have a phone, laptop, you name it,However, there's something comforting about physically writing down everything I feel on a plain old piece of paper, that's sacred to me.
January 3rd, 2014
Dear Diary It's here, the day I say goodbye to my home, the only home I've known for the past seven years. I have somewhat mixed emotions about this entire experience. I'm sad because I'm leaving , and yet in a sense I'm relieved that I get to leave. Start again. I mean change is good right? I can forget about Chase, or at least try.
Until we meet again Esmeé
We're approximately 4 hours from my new home, or the place I will be residing in for the next few months or until I turn 18 and leave for college. I look forward to that day. I can almost taste the freedom. Free to go wherever I want, do whatever I want, and most importantly , live wherever I want. I know I sound like such a rebellious teenager that can't wait to leave the suffocation of my parents nest, however that's not the case, I just genuinely want to be independent , it's been my dream for as long as I can remember , to be a successful independent young woman, I want to be respected because I've earned the respect not because of who my husband is. You know?
After my last rant with myself, which was roughly 3 hours ago I fell asleep, and awoke to find that I was just about 45 minutes away from Seattle. Yay. For once, time didn't drag by and I was walking into my new home, with my family, not gonna lie it was gorgeous , it stood out, loud and proud with its fine, old Italian architecture, everything about this house screamed Old Italy , almost like this house belonged in one of those lifestyle magazines. You know the ones that showcase all those gorgeous homes that cost more than our lives?
Yep, well now I live in one of those, now don't get me wrong when I say this but, this house is practically a museum, look but don't touch, I think this may have been my dads way of bribing my mom into moving. I didn't say much after we arrived , I grabbed a box of my stuff, you know the important box with my clothes and underwear for tonight and tomorrow morning. I trudged up the millennial old stairs and found a bedroom best suited to my needs.
I've been walking up these stairs for an eternity, turns out this house have four other levels , making it a 5 storey home . If I don't lose weight living here, then damn.
I reached my bedroom,which was assigned to me by my parents, I mean I'm kinda of a "freedom of choice" woman but hey I was too tired and grumpy to fight for my rights, like the good civilian I am. I walked into my room, falling in love with it immediately , it had a glass ceiling, well the middle of the ceiling was glass, I think it's called a sky light, it was beautiful , the room was decorated in silver, grey and black, it looked exquisite, the bed had a bunch of faux fur pillows that were grey and white, it was perfect, the room itself was huge, which is always a plus.
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I walked a little to my left and found a massive walk in closet, I mean it was gigantic. I'm in heaven. Oh the potential.
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To my right was a complete bathroom, fitted with a shower, a Jacuzzi bathtub and toilet, all marble.
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Fancy.
Not needing any more convincing, I rid myself of my clothes, hopped into the shower, and cleansed myself of the biggest day of my life yet. It still feels surreal , almost like I'm stuck in a dream, not wanting to be there, yet somehow too intrigued to leave , because I want to know how this ends.
There's so much going on in my head and I've only been here a few hours. I have a thing with over thinking , it's kind of a toxic relationship to be honest.
After my unnecessarily long shower, I got into the coziest bed ever . You'd think I'd be tired after travelling but noooo, here I was, stuck in my thoughts. As much as I wanted to forget about him. I just couldn't, it's been four months or so and yet every night I go to bed plagued with thoughts of him, Chase, for so long he was it for me, the perfect guy, with the perfect face, perfect heart, just perfect. I always knew deep down it would end like this, me broken because he finally saw how imperfect I was, I was never the right fit for his world, here I am, trying to piece back the pieces of my life, bit by bit, and he went back to his perfect life . It's ironic though, the only person who was able to put me back together by holding me so tight the pieces mended themselves , was the one person who managed to break me in merely a sentence.
With that said I forced those thoughts to the back of my head and thanked the heavens above for this clean slate. I tossed and turned for a while before falling into a dreamless state of mind, with only one thought in my head.
