When secrets get out

Friends

I feel a large jolt in my body and below me. I'm in pain and I hear a loud strained scream, a second goes by for me to realize it came from my own mouth. Taking a minute control my ragged breathing and clear my eyes from my tears. I put my hands to my head and curl up on myself, bringing me knees up and setting my arms on the, and my head between my arms.

Why does this keep happening? I've been waking up screaming and crying for 2 whole weeks now and I don't even know why. My best guess is nightmares but I can never remember them, only the feeling of pure agony and terror. All I can remember is the feelings, the feeling of being chased and watched. Lately that second one has been happening when I'm awake, when i am by myself or with friends or my brothers, even if I'm in a meeting surrounded by nations, safe and sound, I still feel watched. " just breathe, smile and carry on" I tell myself. I shakily get out of bed and get dressed in my blue military uniform ,doing my morning routine then heading to the kitchen to make lunch since it was past breakfast time. My lunch being, as usual, pasta. Many believe I'm obsessed with the food, this is not the case though, I love it but not that much. When my grandfather, Rome, was alive he used to cook something similar for me whenever he could when I was small.

Checking the time on I realize if I don't hurry I'll be late for my meeting with Germany and Japan. Even though the war is over and the axis is disbanded we still get together every now and then for a training session and occasionally just to get lunch and talk. Today was a training day, meaning I had to be in uniform and preferably pick up me pace. With this thought I grab my phone and wallet ,slipping them into my back pockets and putting my brown boots on. "Ok veneciano, you can do this, like always, pretend all is fine and keep up your smile, they like you if you smile." I tell myself sighing and with only some hesitation I grab my stiletto knife and slip it in my boot. I've been doing this recently out of paranoia, usually I'm against any violence but I can't shake that fear of being watched,even now. Making sure all is in place I leave my house hurrying to the open field a bit away from my own home, running since I don't have a car.

Finally, I arrive are the meeting place out of breath. Taking deep breath till my pacing is normal I look around for the german and Japanese men. I inhale deeply before walking to them. ' just smile and act as always' I think to myself. Before they notice me I put a bit of a hop in my step, waving my hand and smiling like an idiot with my eyes closed. " Italia!!" The german man, Ludwig screams in his deep accent. " You're late, again, what took you so long!? We were supposed to meet here 18 minutes ago!"
He finishes his rant at my tardiness. A thing to remember about Ludwig is that he loves his schedules and is a normally uptight man. He was my first real friend in a long time, he's a good friend but I wish he'd stop yelling at me all the time, It hurts and I hate any form of violence. Zoning back in I start with crocodile tears, "Ve~ I'm so sorry Germany! I was taking a siesta and couldn't find my uniform! Then I had to feed my cat Stella and myself! You know I can't not do that ! I'm sorry Germany! Please don't hurt me! Oh dio you probably hate me now!" I shout out, making somewhat fake excuses and lies crying like a child. " Gott! Italia it's fine just stop crying and screaming! I don't hate you,just try to show up on time next time." He responded more calmly then before, finishing with a sigh and pushing his blond hair back, he usually has it gelled up and back. I dry me tears and look to japan, or kiku,a short Japanese man with black hair and brown eyes that look dead, noting he looks uncomfortable. Looking back to Germany I reply," I'm so happy you don't hate me! I'll try harder next time captain!" I say giving a smile and salute with the wrong hand.

After 30 laps around the track, training finally ends. I'm exhausted and feel dirty from sweat and dirt. Blinding over with my hands on my knees I take deep breaths. Kiku comes over to me,holding his hands in front of himself, trying to look composed despite the look of exhaustion on his almost blank face." Are you alright Feliciano-kun?" He asks me in his calm accented voice. Smiling slightly and standing up straight I reply. "Ve~ I'm okay just tired and hungry, grazie kiku." Japan is a very reclusive and quiet man but he is my second best friend next to Germany, he doesn't like physically affection much but he shows his affection in other ways, like now. " how are you kiku? I ask." I'm doing well, arigato feli-kun" he reply's using my nickname. " Germany walks over looking only slightly winded with his hair now down in his face partly covering his blue eyes. " Good job you two, Italia you are getting better at keeping pace, nice work." He gives a rare small smile. I smile wide at the praise. " how about we get something to eat or drink now? Ve~."
" good idea feli, it would be good to replenish after a work out.
" ah I could go for some tea or coffee, shall we head to that one small cafe near here feli-kun?"
" Ve~ lets go there! The staff is really nice as well and the food"
After figuring that out we quickly clean ourselves up a bit and start walking since the cafe is just less than 3 minutes from here.