When secrets get out

Comfort in Pain

He had only one thought as he ran with the wind blowing in his face,his auburn hair flying around his head and curl twisting and turning at each step. He heart was thumping so hard and fast he could hear and feel it in his head and wrists,lungs convulsing with each breath. He just needed to get to England as fast as he could. He was always known for being a fast runner. His breathing was ragged,he just barley was able to open up a nation road that would lead straight to the bushy eyebrow English man.

He couldn't slow down, he couldn't afford it. As he ran and ran he remembered the feelings he had in his night terrors. The pure fear and adrenaline and pain. So much pain and fear. He started tearing up,his mind being consumed by memories he tried to conceal and feelings rather left untouched. He'd willingly forced himself to think about it all during the weeks with his friends, now starting to regret it.

He could feel them, the eyes all watching him, he could hear them chasing and chasing him around. Even in the broad daylight it was dark and he was alone. Alone except for the Thing, it was always there, always chasing, always watching, never leaving and never ending. He Hated it. He Feared it. He just wanted this to end,it had ended but it was stuck in his head and his body moved on its own, ever since leaving that cursed mansion he'd been cautious, always on guard but trying to seem like it's all okay, always watching his back and locking any door behind him. Even when he didn't truly remember. It was some type of body memory that his brain had forced into the very back corners of his mind.

He was breathing harder, wanting to scream but nothing coming out,he felt like he was falling into nothing and being slammed into the concrete all at the same time. By the time he finally reached England and found the dirty blondes home he was sobbing and shaking, he knocked on the door and let out a small cry of relief when he heard someone coming to the door.

When England opened the door his green eyes widened in shock and barley hidden concern. The Italian barley kept himself from falling onto the man,instead fell to the ground on his knees, shaking and quietly sobbing till his eyes were raw.

"Dear god, let's get you inside" he put his hand out to help him up almost missing the small flinch in response before Italy took his hand and stood on wobbling legs, almost no strength to hold him up. "here hold onto me...I'll get you some water once you sit down, once you collect yourself" he paused to help Italy take his arm off his shoulder and lay onto the beige couch in the small living room. England sighed" please explain as best you can lad."

He left to the kitchen down the hall,filling up a cup with water and bring it back to the living room, sitting it down on the glass coffee table. Taking a seat he waited till italy got a hold of himself and drank the water after only almost spilling it once.

Italy took a deep breath and looked around to ground himself, he counted his senses.5 thinks he saw, 4 things he felt, 3 he heard, 2 he smelt and 1 he tasted. Once he was done and assured himself he was safe he sat his cup down and looked to England apologetically."I....I'm sorry for showing up like this" he took another sip of water and looked around once more, twisting his foot slightly in his boot to know his knife was still there,it was a comfort item at this point. " Arthur....I remember now, what happened to us, what happened... what happed to me." He looked to England with his brows furrowed and a sad fake smile, still trying to stay strong and not cry again. He knew England remembered too, he had to.

England took a deep inhale and let it all out after a second, putting his face on his hand, trying to cover his expression. He knew it was only a matter of time before Italy regained his memories or the horrors that occurred in the mansion. But he didn't think it would be this soon.

"Yes,I know and I'm sorry you know as well,I'm still...getting used to being in my home,in my country."
"I'm...so scared all the time, I keep having nightmares, every night I see.... it. And during the day I try to act like I don't feel eyes on me,I have to act like everything is fine"

"I know,it's hard to remember that we aren't there anymore Italy. You couldn't help but remember where we were though, as you were the one to get us out."

They both stopped talking, just absorbing the fact they had someone to talk to that knows, remembers, they needed this. Sure they had their friend and family but it was never the same. Around others they felt as though they needed to protect them, but who was protecting England and Italy from themselves and the memories? No one, they were surrounded by people that love them but they were so alone at the same time.

England was never one for showing strong emotions, he rather bottle them up and let them up when he knew no one was there. But he stood and sat next to the Italian and hugged him, Italy was shocked at the contact but hugged back, both taking the comfort that the other was alive and there and not dying. They would never tell anyone but they had sat an hour just hugging each other, crying and laughing and smiling. They were so happy to be alive and see the other alive as well. They shared their pains. They ended up crying themselves to sleep as the record England had left on sang soft music, like a lullaby it sung them into a peaceful sleep for the first time in a while. They woke hours later, deciding to watch a light hearted movie, letting the record run in the background. They thought of their families, how much they loved them. Vowing to never take anything for granted again.

It was late, England decided it was too late for Italy to head back so he made a bed in a guest room for Italy. Of course during the night they both woke up crying and screaming at different times, trying in vein to go back to sleep peacefully. In the morning they didn't question when they awoke in the same bed, they needed comfort.

They needed someone anyone to share their pain with. Someone that understood.