do you ever just like ... think about Jah and then go to your instagram or snap or youtube and just watch old videos of him and you get sad and you cry, but you're happy that you were in the same gen that Jah was in but you still cry because Jah isn't here but you feel his presence here with you? i literally just got done crying because i already know i'm gonna cry on my birthday because Jah would've been 21 for a whole month and its like, i'm gonna celebrate his birthday on my birthday because its really like we were born on the same exact day but not the same month but we were th*snap*at close...and i just know that i'm gonna cry my eyes out and drown myself in jah's music...i can just feel it. but do you like every just sit there like, 'Hi Jah, I Know You Can See and Hear My Thoughts.' and its like you start to talk to yourself out loud and its like you're having a real conversation with him but no ones there and you're talking to yourself...i feel like i'm the only one. and everytime i hear Jocelyn Flores i instantly think of the last live...everytime, I Know Your Somewhere *boo chuckles* Hey Guys ... how are you? I Know Your Somewhere , Somewhere .. i wont be long...
and when Depression and Obsession comes on i instantly think of when he predicts it...and it just breaks my heart over and over cause i know everytime i hear the songs that were played in the live will always be stained by the words he said on the live.
i didn't expect this to turn into a rant but i'm gonna be honest with you guys and i trust yall but yall know (and if you don't know its okay) that i used to cut and i have very low confidence and low self esteem. and sometimes i go into these depression states and i'm like, 'what will happen if you start cutting again..and you never tell anyone..' i stopped cutting for my mother because it broke her heart and she was crying. i stopped for her but i can feel it creeping up on me again
i'm sorry for wasting yall's time with this dumb ass chapter..it was initially supposed to be just about how i think about jah..but ya know me, i go off topic hella fast..
but um bye yall i'll try to give yall an imagine in a few
