music box | kim namjoon

chapter 7

As long as she didn't look at him, she didn't feel much. As long as he didn't speak, either, or make any movements towards her.

He, however, was on the upswing of an intense flush of emotions, and just seeing her small frame hunched over the way it was, in clothes that were too nice to be getting sandy, made his heart start racing and the heat rise to his face. He was feeling a million things in one moment, and all were a jumble he could only hope to sort out, and attempt to express.

But the look on her face said that maybe they weren't so alike, like they always thought, because in that moment they were stark opposites.

The sun had only just set, so everything was dim but not yet dark. He could see how flushed her cheeks were, and the crease between her brows, and the confusion on her face.

"Are you drunk?" He asked, knowing her expression too well. But it came out violent, and suddenly he was angry that she was stupid enough to get drunk alone, or get drunk at all. Or maybe he was upset that she was trying to move on, are anything else that was unfair of him. All he knew was that now, he was angry.

"Just tipsy." She said boredly, still keeping her eyes on the dark waters and the ways they meet the shore.

And he didn't often get very angry, but everything felt times ten at the moment, and any frustration he had with himself, for choosing the wrong person, or with her, for making him feel the way he did, all rose to the surface and made his hands shake even words.

"Grow up, Mina."

He was angry with the way she handled things, and the way she had shut down. He hated that she was hoping to move on, to let him go, even though it was unfair to expect anything else. He hated that she was trying to create a separate life, like she didn't need him the way he needed her. And he hated Minji for the way she pushed him, and tried to change him. He hated himself, most of all.

"Me?" She asked back, finally breaking her gaze and looking at him in full force. She could see he was just as conflicted as she was, and her heart hurt slightly for that, but she was more swept in her immediate reaction. "You're the one who's sold themselves to a life you don't even want, and I'm childish for a little bit of drinking? You grow up."

She felt the facade she had sported for quite sometime start to recede, and she made a silent, desperate call for it to stay. But looking at him reminded her of all the things she didn't want to be reminded of, like the way she loved him, or the way she lost him.

He looked tired in his appearance. He looked in a daze, like he had just woken up, or had been crying. His eyes were puffy, and his bottom lip pushed out in a pout, and his shoulders hung lazily. She felt bad for him, and he seemed angry at her, but that somehow didn't make her pity disappear.

"Where have you been?"

It was almost like she had forgotten she'd avoided classes for the last couple of days, but that didn't really make her feel any worse. Who would feel the motivation, or any want at all, when it was so much easier to avoid everything. However, time was ticking, and she could only live off Park Jimins notes for so long before she needed to show up to pass the class.

"Why does it matter so much?" She responded to his rather accusing tone.

The wind blew the sand against her shins, and she felt herself sinking into it. He was still standing, watching her, taunting her with his words that were wrongly fueled by emotions he couldn't help. His fury was misplaced. He was losing sleep over her, and she was trying to move on. He hated himself for being angry at her for it, but he desperately wanted to stop if from going any further.