The Light and the Darkness

The Forbidden Touch

I smiled at my surroundings. It had been a while since I had spent the night out with my friends. Every time we were supposed to go out I was too tired to go, too exhausted. For this night I decided that I would give it a go, for old time sakes. After a talk with Kiara, who said that she was feeling better I thought the night could be fun. What could go wrong?

We piled in Kiara's car to go to our usual place. When I looked around, I noticed nothing had changed since I had last been here. The same waiters were working, the same pop music was playing in the background and the place was as loud as it was when I used to come along. Nothing changed, not even the drinks and meals my friends ordered. There was the nacho plate for all of us to share. Allison got her fries and a gin and tonic. Holden didn't order anything since he didn't drink, and he would steal food from everyone. While Dylan took a pint of beer. Kiara ordered her usual sex on the beach with a Pepsi. The night started out great. I was talking with everyone, enjoying the food, and catching up on their lives. For once I was able to be carefree. For once I didn't have to take care of Kiara. Finally, a moment of freedom.

          Everything was great until I noticed that Kiara was getting more drinks. It started with a shot of tequila. I looked at her from the side. She was supposed to be driving us home, why would she take more drinks? I took a breath and ignored it, surely, she knew what she was doing. I'm sure she took some food before. I continued to talk with Holden. I didn't get to see him often because our schedules were different. Holden was the best friend anyone could ask for, picking up on the small details and always trying to make the best of the moment Suddenly Kiara was holding a glass of whiskey in her hand. I elbowed Holden to make sure he was seeing it to. We shared a worried glance. We looked at the other side of the table were Allison and Dylan seemed too tipsy to notice what was going on. Did they notice? Did they just not care that our driver was know three drinks in, two of them being stronger than the first? Was this the way it was now, I wondered? Was this what Kiara meant when she said she was getting better? Everyone at the table kept talking, ignoring me and Kiara.

Midnight was approaching, the nachos were gone and we were all getting ready to leave the bar. I pulled Kiara aside.

"Are you sure you should be driving?" I asked. "I know I'm still learning how to drive, and I don't want to offend you, but I think I think it would be better if I was the one driving."

"Well that's not gonna work because we have to take the highway and you haven't learned how to drive on it. Plus, I'm perfectly okay to drive." Kiara said.

I wanted to protest or say something more but from the look on her face, I knew her mind was made up. She also seemed hurt that I would question her ability to drive as she walked towards the group. Allison and Dylan were still talking, not noticing the little talk I had with Kiara. I could understand why they were acting like this. Being carefree was the best thing that happened to me tonight. Yet, why couldn't they notice what was going on.

We all walked to Kiara's car and I made sure to be in the passenger seat as we arrived at the car. While I hated that I was stuck in this position, to have to take care of Kiara while everyone was clueless and having fun, no one was going to step up and take my place. I plugged in Kiara's iPod and played her favorites in hope of something. Maybe it would make her happier or maybe it would help be at peace with whatever demons she was struggling with. Amazingly here was no traffic as we traveled back to our homes. Allison made conversation with Holden and Dylan in the back unaware of the ticking time bomb next to me.

We arrived at Allison's place and we all wished her a goodnight. The car became quiet after she left, I was sure I could hear a pin drop. On our way back, towards the other houses, Kiara tapped my hand. The signal that she needed to hold my hand. She never said anything and yet, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that she was mumbling something I didn't want to hold it but if I would make her feel better, if it would keep her at peace while driving than so be it. I wasn't sure if she was just tipsy or completely drunk. I took her hand in mine. Something dropped at the bottom of my stomach, a lead ball maybe? Everything seemed to go dark. Dylan and Holden started to talk in the back. They were arguing over that fact that Dylan was drunk or buzzed by the drink he had drunk. With no traffic on the streets the ride home was quick but to me it seemed like every minute was an hour. Holden was dropped off first. After we said our goodbyes, Dylan moved to be behind me and started to play with my hair. I was surprised but for some reason I didn't mind it. It felt better than holding Kiara's hand. None the less I felt the need to ask Dylan what was going on in his head.