Chapter Nine - I'm Nothing.

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Somehow I managed to sleep. When I woke the next morning I still couldn't quite believe last night had happened. For a fleeting moment I'd allowed myself to be caught up in a moment and it had been perfection. However fleeting moments are just that, They're gone so quickly you're left winded.
Everything had crashed down around me when he left and it was a reaction I wasn't expecting, but it was a reaction I had none the less. I didn't know it was possible to feel equal parts amazed and destroyed, but I had felt it.

I wouldn't try throw myself at him again, Our night together had been explosive and amazing, but he'd made it clear I was just another notch on his super-sized belt.

I missed him though, and regardless of lost hopes of a romance that were never really there, I was scared he wouldn't be my friend anymore. The thought alone killed me. He'd been back a few days and I liked being around him. Something inside of me came alive when he was there.

I sat up in the bed and picked my phone. It took all the guts I had to call him, but I did it. The call went unanswered. I knew he was screening me. He didn't want to hear from me. My stomach turned.

I called Isla, I needed to talk to someone, even if I didn't know where to start.

"Hey! You're up early, don't you have Monday's off?"

"Yeah, Uh you busy this morning?"

"No, I'm free all day I thought we could have a catch up about the big date!"

Guilt fired through me again. I didn't need reminding about he date. Did it make me a bad person to go on a date with someone, then go home and sleep with someone else? I'd enjoyed Noah's company, he was easy going and kind, which was a nice contrast to the forever moody and mysterious Xavier. Still, I couldn't have my cake and eat it too. I could make Noah and Xavier one person either, even though the prospect sounded amazing.

"Oh yeah, that would be good."

"Well I'll come by soon. I'm so proud of you!"

"Uh, yeah. Thanks"

I showered and dressed after I got off the phone, then left the room as quickly as I could. The night before replayed with more intensity with every passing minute I was in there. I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to go in the room again without a seeing a cluster fuck of R rated images.

I busied myself with menial chores until I heard Isla's bubbly voice bounce through the house. Although obviously to Isla, this came across as borderline germaphobe tendencies.

"You're scrubbing the floor. With a toothbrush. Why?" She laughed as she dumped her purse on the table.

"Scuff marks?" I answered, although I sounded unsure. I wasn't really sure what I was doing. I wasn't a big cleaner or anything, but I had to admit, this was semi therapeutic, Besides anything to distract myself from the situation at hand was welcome.

"I bought coffee." Isla remarked "now spill!"

I sighed and stood up. I placed the toothbrush on the bench and walked over to the table. I sat down and forced a smile on my face.

"The date was fine. Noah is really sweet and genuine" I said honestly.

All thoughts of Noah were suddenly wiped away as I blushed and remembered Xavier during his sweet and genuine moments last night. The way he'd made it all about me, he'd been so gentle and aside from being a one night stand, he made it seem like I was literally his world.

"You did it!" She almost yelled. "Oh. My. God."

"No, Noah was a gentleman, he kissed me on the hand" I exclaimed feigning shock.

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