Smoke and Burn

Patience Is A Virtue, You Know?

November 14, 2010

DEAN

I drift in and out of sleep, not really feeling any pain but knowing it's there. Cas stays with me all through the night, holding my hand—it's a comfort I didn't know I needed so I don't tell him to go home and get some sleep. Yeah, it's selfish but I've never claimed to be anything else.

I practically begged the nurse not to call Bobby. He doesn't need this right now; not with Sam going off his rocker. Besides, I'm eighteen; I can make my own decisions. Like, right now I'm deciding to watch Cas sleep. His eyes flutter beneath his eyelids and drool leaks from the corner of his mouth onto the otherwise clean sheets. Strands of his dark hair fall across his forehead. Some might say he needs a haircut, but I won't. More to grab onto.

His fingers are limp in mine, relaxed with sleep, but I hold them anyway, marveling at how tanned he is despite how little time he spends outside. Pen marks mar his fingers—r1ed and blue. I smile despite myself.

He stirs, his nose scrunching up as he turns his head into the mattress, rubbing his face into it. He's so freaking adorable. God, it's cheesy but sometimes I wonder how I could've ever not thought that way.

He jerks up, blushing as he wipes the drool from his mouth with his sleeve. "Sorry," he mumbles and I shrug, playing with his fingers as he wipes the sleep from his eyes and tries in vain to flatten his bedhead.

"Are you hungry?" I whisper, my voice still rough and my throat still sore. Before he can answer, there's a knock at the door. I pull my hand from Cas's and he stands, moving to the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

The door cracks open. "Dean?" When she sees that I'm awake, she smiles and opens the door wider. "You have visitors." She steps aside and my eyes widen in horror as the entire football team barrels in. My heart leaps into my throat, pounding wildly and I pray to God and everything else in the universe that Cas doesn't walk back out that door. This is a disaster waiting to happen.

"Dude! Who'd you piss off?" Mikey asks, slapping my shoulder and plunking down in the chair Cas recently vacated. I wince but he doesn't notice.

"Who do we have to hurt," Lucas cracks his knuckles, a malicious grin on his face as he stands at the end of the bed.

I just shake my head. "If I couldn't kick their asses, sure as shit none of you can either." I lay my head back on the pillow as I wait for the bathroom door to swing open. The seconds tick by, but it doesn't. Maybe Cas heard them?

"What about all of us? Bet we could get the job done." Zach sits on the bed beside Mike, jumping up immediately with a look of disgust. "Why the hell is the bed wet? You been jerkin' off in here?" A sly grin curves his thin lips. "Hot nurse?"

I shake my head on a small laugh. "Spilt my water," I lie easily, watching as he takes a seat a few inches down the bed from Cas's drool. I start to calm down a little as we talk and Cas never emerges from the bathroom, relaxing into the easy banter with my buddies and not worry about Cas being discovered.

That is, until Uri brings him up. "You know who you remind me of right now?" I raise an eyebrow, not seeing where he's going with this at first.

"Frankenstein?" I guess, getting a laugh from the guys.

"Well, him too." He leans against the wall, crossing one ankle over the other and folding his arms over his chest. "Castiel, when we used to kick the shit out of him." A reminiscent look crosses his face like he's remembering the good ol' days. I feel sick, bile rising in my throat as I remember what we did to Cas.