With SCREAMING tires I double park across your handicap spot, in front of the DOG POUND. I am so exciting- and I just can't hideout!
Today is the day is the day that I'll am going to adopt a NEW dog. But whichever do I pick?? Let's head on over in the inside to sample these "man's best friend". I walk I STEP up to the plate. And step in the dog pound now. So much bark... am I in a forest?
"Hello," vicariously greets to me the dog pound owner.
"So much bark.. am I in a forest?" I greet back.
Dog pound owner doesn't EVEN laugh for the joke. Hunchbacked tittyslut.
"Now let me show you here," shows the DOP (dog pond owner) "all these dogs that we do have at your disposal. Slelect SELECT your PLAYER!"
So many dogs.... so little time.... which should I be getting? I ponder truly. As I walk past these magnanimous critters...
Lab radar.
Poodle.
Chih chiuah chawaiu LITTLE DOG.
Dolmation.
Avril Lavigne.
"Truly a remarkably specimen!" I remark cavalierly. "Can May I pet it?"
"Better keep those GOD DAMN hands off me you jowly drunk," snaps Avril Lavigne.
"Such fiery temperament ," I appreciate. "My new dog of choice is AVRIL LAVIGNE."
LATER
Arrived back at "me casa" with the brand new pet animal. "Let's play a game of fetch, Avril Lavigne?" I proffer. Strongly I do throw a tennis ball in the. "Go fetch! Go!!!"
Canadian singer/singwriter Avril Lavigne REFUSES to fetch...! In stead she just plumps her lazy cadaver in front of MY television? The nerves.
"I can understand you you are not fond of "fetch,'" I realize and I say. "Well then how about WALK in the park?"
"I hate Parks," Avril Lavigne disgustingly snarks.
"That's racist," I counter, "she was a brave laddy and you DO NOT talk about Rosa Perks on those way.
"I'm hungry how where is the food" moans Avril Lavigne complainy.
I am STARTING to seriously REMORSE this whole "adogption idea".
"Well maybe it's time you start pulling some WEIGHT" I stern voice reprimand "pulling some WEIGHT in this household Advil Lavigne," I say. "Those royalty checks for pop punk entertainment CDs 50 million albums sold."
Avril Lavgne picks up my Television Home Entertainment set and HURLS it through the window!! "How do you like THAT weight, bozo?!" is what Avril Lavigne screams shattering my ear canal. "Now I WILL chew on this carpet!" True to her word Avril Lavigne chews with so mighty chomps on my favorite carpat.
"Now I will say the N-word!" bellows the multiple Granny Award winning singer. And Avril Lavigne says the N-word now.
I guess it's is indeed as they say... "You won't wake a sleeping dog NEW tricks!"
POST CREDITS SEQUENCE
28 days layer
With SQUEALING tires I park in front of the CAT POUND. "Let's sample these puss these kittens today..." Such a royal array of felines here!
Siamese.
Shorthair.
Cheshire.
CHAD KROEGER.
"Best back the frick away from me, bozo," Chad Kroeger warns. And then Chad Kroeger says the P-word. "Hmmm," I hmmm loudly, "my new cat of choice is... CHAD KROEGER!"
Hooo boy... here we go we go here AGAIN!
أنت تقرأ
My Dog Is Singer-Songwriter Avril Lavigne
القصة القصيرةWho knew getting a canine could be so... "Complication"!
