A Sinking Ship

You Are Enough

The sky washed away, and in its place came a canvas of black sprinkled with white, glittering dots. I wasn't paying much attention to where I was walking. I was stuck in my own head, of what I needed to do. Of what I shouldn't do. I wished I could have known that I'd have you. I would have made me so happy knowing that I would have someone to love. You are like the stars in the night sky. Bright and powerful. Just like Jacob. Well, maybe just the powerful part. You know how he is.

I sat down on a bench on the sidewalk. I didn't really care if I was in the open for the Frontier. I didn't really care about much at all at the moment. I just wanted to sit and process everything. My feelings, Jack, Sarah. It made me sad to think about Jack and Sarah, though. His story was horrible. No child should have to get through what they did.

A cool night breeze shattered my thoughts like glass. I didn't have the will to piece them back together, so I just laid down on the bench and closed my eyes. Only one thought remained intact. Jacob. Even though we were under the influence of bliss, that kiss had been so good. It left wanting more. It left me wanting him. I wanted to get to know him and him to know me. The strangest part was that after all the blood-curdling stories I heard, I still find myself wanting him. I've heard people call him a monster, but I find that he is just a man that needs something more than the hate he is so familiar with.

I woke up to someone tapping my shoulder softly. I opened my eyes slowly and found myself staring into the eyes of my old friend. John Seed. He was wearing a kind smile as I sat up quickly.

"Oh...um...hi." I was flustered when he took a seat next to me.

"I heard that you were in Jacob's region." He said. I didn't answer immediately. I was still waking up. The sun was just beginning to rise on the horizon, creating a beautiful glow in the dark blue sky.

"Oh yeah."

"I'm sorry about what happened. With the attack, I mean." He said genuinely. His bright blue eyes were so easy to get lost in. Not like Jacob's. In John's, I see pain. I wished I wasn't so good at reading people.

"Oh, don't be sorry about that. I'm fine. Well, as fine as I could be." I joked. He chuckled lightly at that as his eyes found my bandaged legs.

"Do you mind if I ask what happened?"

"I don't really know myself. I woke up in the woods after the confession. I could see an overturned truck and a pile of bloody bodies. There must have been a crash." I explained. John nodded, his eyes still tracing my bandages.

"Did my brother find you?" I nodded, and what seemed to be concern flashed his face. "What did he do?"

"He took me into the cages for a while, but let me go."

"That doesn't sound like him." John laughed, looking happily into my eyes.

"Tell me about it." We both looked at each other for a while. John was easy to talk to.

"Well, I have some business to attend to. I'll talk to you later?" He asked. I smiled happily at him and nodded.

"Sounds good," I said as John stood up, shaking off dirt from his black pants. He walked away and waved goodbye.

I sat there for a little while longer before heading back to the cabin. I had been gone for a while. I did tell Jacob I was going to visit someone, but I had been gone for over twenty-four hours.

By the time I got home, the sun was up, shining brightly on my back. Jacob's truck was pulled up next to the cabin, and he was sitting on one of the metal chairs near the firepit. I watched for a while as he cleaned his rifle.

"You aren't having a good time without me, are ya?" Jacob looked up from his rifle and smiled at me.

"So much fun." He said sarcastically. He stood up from his chair and walked over to me. He stopped a few feet short of me, but I couldn't hold myself back. I closed the distance and kissed him lightly on the lips. He was definitely not expecting it, but he kissed me back. He pulled back for a second and looked into my eyes.

"Why?" He asked, still holding me. I felt my heart ache and pull me towards him. I rested my chin on his shoulder.

"You make me feel whole again," I whisper into his ear. I wanted to say more, but I think it was enough for him. I pulled me in for another more. This time there was something animalistic about it. It was weird how much I loved it. He pulled me closer and he bumped into the back of his truck. He ran his hand through my hair, and I felt my heart beating against his. And his against mine. Whole again. I thought of nothing else except the happiness I felt then. And I wanted to feel it every day. And never did I want it to stop. And I knew without a doubt, that this was me. I was right. I would never be the same person ever again. Because all I needed was right here, Whole again.

Eating dinner that night wasn't uncomfortable or awkward at all. I had cooked up spaghetti and tomato sauce, and we ate together, enjoying each others company. There was the occasional small talk, but we didn't say much to each other. Not that we needed to. We were both open books regarding Us. When we finished, he cleaned the dishes and we sat together on the couch, watching the fire crackle and reach hungrily up into the air.

"Do you believe in the Collapse?" I asked him. He looked over to me and shrugged.

"I think I do believe. I don't know if Joseph really talks to God, but I do think something's coming." He answered matter-of-factly. "Do you believe in it?"

I looked down at my lap, thinking about what I did believe. I was never with the ones that agreed with the ways of the Seed brothers, but I also wasn't one of the ones that disagreed with them. I mean, Joseph was one hell of a charismatic person. I have never met him personally, but I have heard him. On the radio occasionally. Maybe something was coming. Maybe something wasn't. I had no idea.

"I don't know. I mean, anything is possible. I neither believe in it nor deny it." I answered awkwardly, feeling as though it wasn't the "right" answer. But Jacob just nodded.

"That's a reasonable answer." He looked over to me. I studied his face for a second. Many people would have found his scars and rashes revolting, but I thought they were endearing. It made him him.

"If the collapse is real, hypothetically, do you think it is close." I didn't really know what answer I was expecting, or the answer I wanted.

"Close. In the last Sermon, Joseph said it was close. I trust him. He has been right about everything so far."

"Will the townsfolk be joining you in your ark?" I asked. They had many bunkers, I knew that.

"If they are with us, then yes." I nodded, wondering what would happen to me if this apocalyptic event were to happen. Their faith was interesting if anything.

For a few moments, we let silence fill the room. I listened to the crackle of the fire contently and the owls outside the safe confines of the cabin. I have always loved the wilderness. Peaceful unlike everything else in the world at the moment.

"Are you sure you want this," Jacob asked as I leaned my head against his shoulder. I smiled to myself.

"I've never been so sure of anything in my life, Jacob," I assured him quietly. I felt his body relax when my fingers ran down his chest. I felt drowsiness take over me, and my body molded into him.

"I think you could do better than a beaten up, battle-scarred man like me." He whispered as my eyes began to droop. He was much more to me than that. He is much more to me than that.

"You are all I need. You are more than enough. I want nobody else." His breathing was slowing and calming. He told me later that no one had ever told him that. I told him that no one knew who he truly was.

I was drifting into sleep as I said it, but I meant it all the same.

"I love you."