#AmidstTheHeartWP
Death
I breathed a sigh of relief and dragged my exhausted self from the car. Inalis ko ang suot na aviator at iginala ang paningin sa harap ng mansyon kung saan ako lumaki at nagkaisip. Pulling up to this house brought with it a strong sense of nostalgia. A million memories flashed through my mind but it was halted when someone suddenly hugged me.
"Aneeza, anak! We missed you so much! Welcome back home!"
Si Mommy at Daddy pala iyon. Niyakap nila ako ng sobrang higpit na para bang takot silang bigla akong maglaho. Niyakap ko naman sila pabalik. Though, they often pay me a visit abroad, it's just feels different that I am here with them right now.
"Na-miss ko din po kayo," saad ko at tipid na ngumiti sa kanila. Nang kumalas ako sa pagkakayakap sa kanila ay saka ko lang napansin na may kasama pala silang isang lalaki. It took me a long while to figure out that it is my only guy friend here in Philippines. Si Josh.
"Hi!" he simply said with a smile when he saw me staring at him.
"Josh!" I beamed at lumapit sa kanya para yakapin din siya.
"Thank God, kilala mo pa rin ako. Akala ko hindi mo na ako natatandaan," he said with a hint of humour after we hugged.
He's my friend since high school. Magkakaibigan na kaming tatlo simula pa noon kaya itinuring ko na rin siyang kaibigan dito. Sobrang tagal na din noong huling beses na nagkaroon kami ng komunikasyon ni Josh.
"Silly, how could I ever forget you!" I pat him on his shoulder. "I missed you!"
"I missed you, too, you have no idea," he said.
Ipinagpatuloy na namin ang pag-uusap namin sa komedor habang nagtatanghalian. Habang inaalala at pinag-uusapan naming dalawa ni Josh ang nakaraan ay ramdam ko ang bigat ng tinging ipinupukol sa akin ng aking mga magulang.
There was this sympathetic expression etched on their faces when they're looking at me. Ayaw ko mang aminin pero ramdam kong nag-aalala sila at nalulungkot para sa akin. Alam kong kagaya ko, pinipilit lang ding ngumiti ng mga taong kaharap ko ngayon.
"It's just so sad now that Julia's not with us anymore. Hindi na tayo kailanman makokompleto," he sighed. Now that he brought that up, my smile quickly faded. Nabitawan ko rin ang hawak kong kubyertos nang hindi ko namamalayan.
"Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin akalaing maaga siyang kukunin sa'tin. Pero ang mahirap tanggapin ay ginusto niyang wakasan na ang sarili niyang buhay. I can't belive she can really do that." Napailing-iling siya na para siyang dismayado.
"When will you going to her funeral, anyway?" he insensitively asked. Irritation flared within me.
Hindi pa rin talaga ako sanay na pinag-uusapan ang tungkol sa pagkamatay niya. I have this fear of breaking down so as much as possible, I tried to avoid talking about it. I still can't accept the fact that she's gone forever. And now that Josh suddenly mention about it without a warning, I feel like he just rubbed some salt to an already painful wound.
Nang makita niyang wala akong naging imik ay bigla siyang naglie-low.
"I'm... I'm sorry, Anee, I know you need to take some time to process everything. Alam kong hindi madali para sa'yong tanggapin ang nangyari kay Julia. I shouldn't have been so insensitive. I'm really sorry," he sincerely apologized.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. Ramdam ko na ang pangingilid ng mga luha ko. I don't want to talk about it, damn it!
Umakto akong parang hindi apektado sa naging usapan.
