Marry Me - Mat Barzal

Mat ~ Two

Flashback

I've done a lot of things I have considered hard in my lifetime. But this was something I wasn't expecting. I opened the card and it felt like my stomach dropped.

We would like to cordially invite you to the wedding of

Nathan Daniel Robinson

&

Sara Grace Grey

June 16th, 2020

Behind it was their wedding shower information, which was at the end of this summer. Is this actually happening? Is she really doing this?

That weekend I got a call from my mom, saying how excited she is to go to Sara's wedding and she couldn't wait to see me support my best friend in a nice little suit at their black tie wedding. I wanted to break down. There was no way out of it. I had to go. I couldn't make something up.

But you couldn't make this shit up. I remember the night when I almost kissed her. I always wondered if she felt the same way. I wonder what would've happened if our lips had touched. She would probably be with me right now. But I couldn't think of that. It was too late now.

Summer rolled around and it was time for the wedding shower. I showed up to her childhood home, right down the street from mine. Everything was so white and clean.  There were bouquets of magnolia's and I tried to forget how all those years ago she wanted those flowers at our wedding. We were twelve when she had said that, but I always kept it in the back of my mind.

You never know, maybe back then I thought that was our someday.

I smiled throughout the party sneaking the flask I brought with me up to my lips. There was no way I could do this kind of thing sober. What do you do when the person you love is getting married to someone else?

My guess was drink. And maybe drink a little more. The whiskey burned my throat as a took a swig and that's when I saw her. Dark hair, tan skin contrasting against a pretty white dress. It fit her perfectly. She smiled when she saw me standing in the hallway, and I tucked the flask into my back pocket.

She approached me with a smile and open arms. I forced a smile of my own and engulfed her in a hug, hoping she wouldn't smell the whiskey on my breath, and maybe holding her a little longer than usual. I relaxed with her in my arms. When she pulled away she immediately noticed something was off.

"Mat, are you okay?" She looked at me with concern in her eyes and an arm hung on to my bicep.

Shit she can really see right through me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say softly. "I just... can't believe you're getting married." I oozed false enthusiasm.

I was waiting for her to go off on me for being a jackass, but her brow just went up and she responded carefully.

"I know, it's crazy right. It feels like a whirlwind." She wasn't rude or annoyed in tone and it made me feel worse for making such a dick comment.

    "I'm happy for you." I choke out. And she looks conflicted, as if she knows I'm really not. "Truly."

    "Well, thank you Mat, that means the world coming from you. You're my best friend, I couldn't imagine my big day without you."

    I wish you meant that differently.

I gritted my teeth. "Wouldn't miss it for the world." I said as I unbuttoned the top of my dress shirt. I felt like I was fucking choking in it.

She looked at me with a glint in her eye before she heard her mom call her name to go greet some people who just walked in.

"I have to go talk to some old friends but I'll catch you in a little bit Matty." She placed a soft kiss on my cheek and happily walked back into the foyer.

I leaned against the wall, watching her through the doorway. Her smile was perfect. She glanced back at me as she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and I gave her a crooked smile. One that was only reserved for her.
And as she looked away I slipped out the back. Scared and upset that I missed my chance with her.