Best Friends - Keith x reader

Fifteen

Keith's pov

After a long ass meeting of Allura explaining how we would defeat Zarkon we were all allowed to leave. The fight is soon, it's only a couple of weeks away, so Allura wants us to be well rested and training a lot.

I've been laying down for hours, playing with my knife. But I can't sleep, I think it's because of the battle but I'm not sure. I have a lot on my mind right now. With the whole red paladin thing and saving the universe. And then there's Zarkon and trying to figure out if this blade means anything or will help me learn more about my mom. And then there's (Y/n). Probably what's actually on my mind but I'm trying to ignore.

I just feel like such an asshole right now. Why do I say half the things I say to her? I don't even mean most of it, it just comes out wrong. I mean, it's not that her help makes things worse, because it doesn't, I just didn't want her up on that ship. It was dangerous and unsafe. She would've died if I wasn't there to stab that soldier! But then again, I would've died if she never showed up. And why didn't I want her on that ship? I know I want her to be safe but why? Is it because we used to be friends? Or- because I used to love her? God I don't know. I've been thinking about it a lot after what happened in the infirmary.

"You know that was one of my favorites, it's a CLOSE SECOND TO 'MAYBE MY BEST FRIEND IS DEAD AND I'M NEVER GONNA SEE HIM AGAIN AND TELL HIM THAT IM IN LOVE HIM!'"

I can't get what she said out of my head. I knew what I did was stupid, but I didn't think it hurt that much. I made her feel like she makes things worse. And I never thought she would worry about me. It's not that I didn't think she cared, I don't even know what I was thinking! She thought she wasn't good enough for me to stick around. She thinks she never mattered to me. She thinks she couldn't make me happy.

She thought I was dead.

Why didn't I ever call?

I groaned and got out of bed, putting my knife under my pillow. I need a distraction.

I groggily walked out of my room and down the dark hallway. Everyone was asleep so there's not much I could do without making a ton of noise. After wondering the castle for god knows how long I ended up in the kitchen.

Food sounds pretty good right now.

I look around the cabinets for food. It's the perfect distraction.

I could try to make something. But then again I can't cook. And Hunk would kill me if I made a mess in the kitchen. So would (Y/n) since she cleans- wait no I'm not supposed to me thinking about her.

I grabbed a plate and spoon, still trying to figure out what I should eat. And then I heard footsteps, who would be up at this time?

I turn my head and see (Y/n). She was wearing a white shirt and black bottoms, she had her little notebook and a pen with her and she looked half asleep.

Well there goes being distracted from (Y/n).

She looked around the room, probably wondering why the lights were dimmed and not off, then she laid her eyes on me, making my heart skip a beat.

"Shouldn't you be asleep? You have a lot of training tomorrow." She yawned and walked over to another cupboard.

"I can't sleep, I thought I'd get some food." I said bluntly.

(Y/n) hummed in response and grabbed a cup. She filled it up with water and sat down at the counter and opened her notebook. A little peak wouldn't hurt. I see her with it all the time and I have to admit, I'm a little curious about what's in there. I look over her shoulder and see a ton of writing and drawings. Some of them looked like notes and others looked like journal entries. Then there were these really nice drawings of plants that (Y/n)'s collected from different planets.