I woke up to an empty bed and Tyler staring at with watery eyes he spoke "hey." "she's gone isn't she?" he nodded sadly tears spilling from his eyes. "it's been three weeks when are you and josh leaving?" i asked changing the subject i didn't want to think about her leaving me. " Friday." "two days?" he nodded "but i'm not ready for you to leave Tyler" he sighed " me neither but i've have to."
then i realized that Brendon's not here. He must be so broken. He and Sarah were best friends he was like another big brother to her but the more kiddish and jokingly big brother that taught her bad words and how to play guitar. A tear spilled from my eyes "is Brendon okay" i choked out he shook his head "Dallon said he cried all night then barricaded himself in his room and wouldn't talk to anyone." that sounded like a great plan right know to stay hidden from the world and and cry all the pain out all the bad shit that happens all the hatred and sorrow.
I took my morning pill and stood up from the hospital bed over to the drawer next to her bed and pulled out her pictures of her with everyone of us including Spencer. i gave the one of Tyler, Josh, and her, to him. He smiled as a tear came from his eye. I put the one of me and her in my pocket with her polaroid camera it had one picture left and i was going to save it.
"Come on" i spoke to him and left the room to give Spencer his. He hugged and thanked me. I felt to go give Brendon, his and Dallon's. we walked all the to Brendon's house. I knocked on the door. Dallon opened the door and smiled sadly. i handed him his picture with Sarah and his sad expression became happy for a split second then fell again
"Brendon's up stairs in his room, he won't come out." i walked up the stairs, and sat at the base of the door i felt weight against me so i knew he was sitting by the door as well.
"Brendon?...please come out and talk to us... i know how you feel okay, but she...Sarah wouldn't want you to grieve like this. She'd want you to come out and continue living life and having fun and saying jokes." I spoke "just think about her." i said as i slid the photo under the door for him to see. He grabbed it and opened the door immediately after, tackling me in a hug as he cried on my shoulder. I saw Dallon awkwardly shift in the corner of my eye.
Later that day
Tyler, Josh, Brendon, Dallon, and i were all at Brendon's house late at night way past when i should have gone back to the hospital. it was going to be a sleep over, Brendon and Dallon were cuddling on the couch and Tyler and josh made out on the floor while i watched horrible old school movies and sat on armchair.
Brendon went to kiss Dallon and i got up to get water and not watch Bren and Dall make out in front of me. Brendon walk into the kitchen after me "hey Ryan i want your opinion on something" i looked at him he was really close to me, his face close to my face and i blushed the he whispered
" Jon likes Spencer and i don't know how to make that work i mean they've only met twice." i let out a sigh of relief and disappointment then shrugged "set up a date for them." i spoke and he sighed " i guess that makes sense." "cool then." damn that was so close, he smelt so good too.
oh god, fuck me! why is this my life?
YOU ARE READING
If Looks Could Kill, I'd Be Dead.
Fanfiction" if looks could kill..." "If looks could kill?" " then i would be dead, Ryan" Ryan has cancer and Bren is trying to help him get through it but it keeps getting worse no matter how hard they try. Brendon x cancer Ryan no art is mine its all by way...
