I Hate That I Love You (NashiXStorm)

Three

(Not edited)
Instagram: mama_adam._.draws

But those laughs soon turned into cries of pain, those walks to the park soon turned into a walk to the bathroom to heal the wounds, and those "I love you's" soon turned into "I hate you's."
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(Nashi)
Another day of having to wear long sleeves and jean pants. I've given up on covering all my bruises with my makeup since I started cutting.

I know what a lot of you are thinking. "Why would you cut when you're already getting hurt?" you ask. Well here's my answer.

It helps.

It helps me remember the reason why he hurts me. It's not because he hates me. It's to teach me a lesson. After all, I only seem to mess things up.

Over. And over. And over again.

It's also calming. Just watching the beautiful red liquid glide down the skin of my wrist and drip onto the bathroom floor.

And once I'm done watching the blood I simply just burn the wound. Simple as that. It hurts when you've first started, but over time you become so use to the pain you can no longer feel it.

"Nashi, why are you still wearing long sleeves? It over 85* outside." I hear my father ask. He's been concerned about me ever since I showed up at his and moms door crying after he had screamed at me to get out after beating me once again for accidentally braking a plate about over a month ago.

Now I'm not stupid enough to tell them what actually happened I just simply told them we got into a bad argument.

Why?

Because I figured he was going to come to the house in the next few days and talk to me and say he was sorry while my parents watched from a distance.

And he did. It all played out exactly like that.

But when we got back to the apartment the beatings got worse if that was even possible.

But like I said. I've grown used to the pain. My body has become numb. I can no longer feel the physical abuse. It's just the insults that get to me. The mental abuse.

Because I know that everything he screams at me is true.

"Is it? That's weird. I guess I'm getting sick then. I don't feel over heated, in fact I've had a bit of a chill these past few days." I lied right through my teeth like it was the most simplest thing on this earth.

"Alright then. Try getting some rest tonight. Don't want you having to miss school. But if you need to please do. You could always stay over with your mom and I and we can help take care of you? Nalu does miss you and wants to see you more." He says with a genuine smile.

I began to panic. I didn't want to go back, but then I didn't want to go with dad. They would see the bruises, the scars, the cuts.

I couldn't let that happen. I was being torn apart between the too.

I smiled.

"It's ok. I'll be fine."

Another lie.

"Ok. But if you need anything just know you have family who is more than willing to help." He says as he returns the smile.

He gave me a hug in which I returned as I tried my best to hold in the tears that I so wanted, needed, to shed. But my attempt to hold them all in failed as I felt one small tear glide down the soft pale skin of my cheek.

If only you knew.