BEAUTIFUL DISASTER (Preview)

Fifteen: Back to square one.

Cambridge Massachusetts, U.S.A
Friday, 14th September.
06:30

She gave her heart and soul to one sided love, and it's broken, more than once. How can her heart be whole again? She tried her best, she tried so hard to make him love her, she gave her all and now, there's nothing left, nothing to give again. How can she give him what she doesn't have? What was with him for a very long time. It's up to him to repair what he shattered.

The car ride was getting more awkward with each passing breath from them, which was more than palpable, can be cut by not so sharp knife. She couldn't point out what she was feeling at that very moment. Her head was jumbled and she'll need some time alone to bring out everything he has just revealed. He was mental? That was the worst thing she has heard in a very long time. But why didn't her father say anything to her about it after knowing her feelings? Why did he make her hate him? Well, not hate but something like that.

There's more to everything than they're adding up. And her father, she doesn't know how to tackle that. Should she ask him or just go with the flow and see what her heart and brain fight for? As for now, she can't talk, she can't say anything. Many things are just caked up and whipped in her head. She hates to admit but their is this fluttering, softness, happiness and glowing of hope ripping in her pulsated heart.

Her heart was quivering, like blood is roaming around it more than it should. Her head is also throbbing from the revelations she just heard. Her face, she doesn't know what it looks like at the moment and she doesn't care. She knew it looks like a sack of potatoes and a muffled frown etched on her lips and deeply furrowed thin brows, eyes looking at her hands on her laps and nose slightly scrunched.

Now the questions are, why would he tell her what she yearned to hear for so very long, now? Why now? What happened before he came to her house that beautiful afternoon? Did his mother mentally abused him again? She was so troubled and scattered that she tightly locked her lashes not to think of the way he coped all those years without her knowledge.

He fought his mother all by himself. He was fighting his own battle and she taught she was the only one who was in for those haunting memories and anguishing past. She hates to think that she has been blaming him for every little thing he wasn't supposed to be blamed of. She was so caught up with her own little pain that she has forgotten about the pain he was and still going through. She's such a bad person, she thought.

Not everything will go as you expect in your life. This is why you need to drop expectations and go with the flow of life. And this is exactly what she's thinking about. Should she just go with the wave and see where the shore will be or she should just help herself and not push her already shattered heart to another heart break? But then again, what is left to be shattered, nothing!

And when Hamal couldn't take the heart squelching rejection and the most awkward silence he has ever found himself in, he turned on the radio and Shattered by the Backstreet boys was playing, just like Janaan's emotions at the moment so she listened to each line, already knowing the lyrics by heart, their words are meaningful.

*
So empty, can't feel no more,
As I'm left with my tears on the floor
I wait for my heart to mend,
But you keep tearing a hole

Inside, I'm so lost,
In the middle of my heart
It's a battlefield of love,
I've been fighting for too long

And now I'm shattered,
From the chip in my heart, kept taking it till it broke
Oh how it hurts
Felt it slipped from your hand, hit the ground and now it's shattered
I'm so shattered
Can't believe it was me, I'm so shattered
So shattered
Can't believe, you and me, ahh
So shattered
Can't believe, you left me, I'm so shattered
I'm shattered, cut from with-inside, oh