Destiel One Shots

11. How Do We Get It Out?

Cas was acting really weird. Even for Cas. It had been going on for about a week, and Dean just got tired of it. He was eating all the food in the bunker, showing some major mood swings, and was getting on the boys' nerves.

Dean decided to confront him about it, he figured Cas would listen to him. They were in a relationship, or as Cas puts it, "a very profound bond".

Cas was in their room, watching a movie and eating popcorn. Dean couldn't help but notice he gained a few pounds. But he didn't say anything about it.

"Cas, what's up with you lately? You're constantly eating, you've got a serious attitude problem, and the only time you talk to me or Sam is when you're complaining about something! What the hell, Cas?" Cas looked at him.

"Dean, I'm pregnant."

And Dean blacked out.

He came to pretty quickly, the only thought in his mind being, Please let it be a dream, please let it be a dream.

"You... how... I... what?" Cas smiled.

"I know it seems odd, since I'm in a male vessel, but I am pregnant."

"Could you use a different word? Please? For the love of god?"

"Must you use that terminology?"

Dean groaned. "Just... don't say... 'pregnant'."

"Would you prefer 'with child'?" Dean nearly blacked out again.

"Cas? How are we supposed to... you know... get it out?"

"There's a fairly simple procedure."

"Uh huh. And how long until... the bun's ready to come out of the oven?"

Cas tilted his head in confusion. "I don't understand. What bun? Are you making one? I hope you are, I'm starving."

"Okay, first of all, you've got a bucket of popcorn right in front of you. Second, it's a figure of speech. How long until... you know, labor?" He felt weird saying that.

"Oh. It should be another month."

Dean nearly vomited. "A month? And you waited until now to tell me this?"

"Don't worry. A month gives us plenty of time to prepare."

"Right. Plenty. Totally. Cas, I don't even know how to take care of a goldfish."

Cas smiled. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll be a natural parent."

"I doubt it," Sudden realization hit. Dean was going to be a father. A real dad. It terrified him and excited him all at once. He thought maybe he should be happy. He smiled. "I'm gonna be a dad." Cas smiled too. He got up and hugged Dean tightly. Dean hugged him back.

"Yes you are."

~

Dean was in hell.

It had been a week since the big announcement, and this whole pregnancy thing was no picnic. He thought Cas was eating too much before. Now he's a vacuum. How much food can one angel eat? He wasn't even an angel anymore. He was human. This shouldn't have been physically possible. It's like he was bigger on the friggin inside.

But according to Cas, it was for the baby's health. There were certain things the fetus would need before birth. Certain vitamins and minerals and things like that.

Although Dean was pretty sure that was a croc.

He wasn't even sure how he kept it all down. Wasn't there that whole morning sickness thing? He'd probably prefer that.