come back // joshler

20: Josh & Tyler

The next week Tyler spent most of his time with Josh. The two agreed they'd stay as friends for as long as Tyler felt a bit better again. Josh had succeeded well, Tyler not so much. He made comments on how Josh looked nice, and when Josh blushed he'd tease him about it. Josh didn't complain, he felt no need to. He was getting attention from Tyler, and after all that was all he wanted. Maybe even all he needed, if he thought about it. At the moment the two were at Josh's house, in his room, on his bed. If the situation would've been different, Josh would've felt nervous and probably would've been flustered all the time, but he kept those emotions away, since Tyler and him were just friends at the moment.

"Do you ever wonder how it is like to feel normal?", Tyler asked, looking at Josh with a thoughtful look on his face. "Like, not to feel all these huge emotions all the time, just basic feelings?"

"I guess sometimes, yeah", Josh nodded. "Do you?"

"Yeah", Tyler replied, smoothing down Josh's bedsheets with his hand. "But I'm not sure if I'd like to feel like that or not."

"I wouldn't", Josh spoke after a moment of thinking. Tyler turned to look at him with an interested expression. "If I did then I also wouldn't feel happiness in such a large scale either."

"That's true", Tyler smiled.

"What do you plan on becoming when you graduate?", Josh suddenly asked, looking up at his ceiling.

"I don't know", Tyler honestly said. "I mean, I have dreams, but those dreams won't most likely give me a pay check."

"Mine wont either, so let's share them", Josh said. Tyler nodded, signalling with his hands for Josh to go first. "I want to be an astronaut. Or a drummer."

"Really? That's cool", Tyler surprisedly said. Josh just shrugged, and Tyler took a small breath before speaking again. "I want to become an artist. Like a musician."

"As soon as you're making music you're already a musician", Josh said, to which Tyler replied by chuckling a bit. "No, really."

"Well, no one has ever even heard my music", Tyler shrugged, and Josh looked at him. "Yeah, I've made a few songs."

"Could I hear?"

"If we go to my house, then yeah I guess."

"What're we waiting for then?"

"Now?"

"Yeah, let's go!", Josh cheered, and so the two were off to Tyler's house. When they arrived, Tyler led Josh in through the backdoor. He didn't want Zack to know that he was hanging out with Josh again. Not that he thought Zack wouldn't understand. He would, but Tyler didn't want to explain everything to him now. Or maybe ever. Zack didn't know he was gay, and he preferred it that way. He didn't want anyone to know, but still he knew he'd have to tell people eventually. But for now he stayed quiet and avoided talks of dating. Josh followed Tyler into his room, and smiled at the realization that Tyler hadn't changed his room a bit, and he still had a picture of him and Josh on his wall.

"This place hasn't changed at all, kind of embarrassing", Tyler chuckled, blushing slightly. Josh shrugged and walked over to Tyler's bed, flopping down on it. Tyler awkwardly scratched his neck before speaking up again. "So, um, what do you want to hear?"

"Well, I don't know what you have", Josh chuckled, and Tyler gave him a shy lopsided smile. "So yeah, anything will do. I'm sure it's awesome anyways, no matter what it is."

"Alright", Tyler quietly nodded before walking over to the keyboard at the corner of the room. He turned it on and sat down on the chair in front of it, playing around with the keys for a moment, deciding what to play. He chose a simple song and started playing the melody before starting to sing softly, growing more aggressive and strong while continuing.