the real monster (rwby x god reader)

APRIL GORES'!

A/n: APRIL FOOL'S

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It's a normal day like no other in the mansion deep within the Grimm realm , except one thing because today is a special celebration, The April fools' day, many people (well not on remnant anymore) would celebrate this with light jokes and some would play with others feelings.

But that's nothing compared to the April gores' day at the (l/n) mansion , and you're soon about to find out...

No one's p.o.v.

*BOOM*

A huge explosion occurred at the side of the (l/n) mansion followed by a voice shouting "April gores'!"

(Inside)

"NO NO NO PLEASE (Y/N) AAAAAAHHHHH" pleaded Thanatos as (y/n) was showing him the horrible devices in the room

"So Thanatos~ I'm gonna show you some really fun things~ and you have to take one, got it?" Thanatos just continued to squirm in (y/n)'s grip with anger and fear filled eyes "I'll take that as a yes~, so we can tie your limbs to four horses, not too much but it's really tear-rable~, the Judas cradle! *Show's him a fucking sharp rear plug* a real pain in the ass.... Quite literally, now the favorite among females of hell breast rippe- wait, where is it?

[Meanwhile with abductor & Salem]

"Are you... Sure about this my love?" Abductor said nervously holding the now found device labeled 'property of (y/n)' "just shut up and do it! We got only one hour before sapphire comes back" abductor sighs and lifts up the device to salem's breasts "here goes nothing" and with that said the last thing that was heard from the room were pain filled screams and flesh tearing sounds... "April gore!"....

[Back to (y/n)]

... nevermind, next we got the iron gol- MAIDEN this is gonna 100% guarantee that you'll have a couple of new holes to the two you already have~,and now my favorite... Crocodile shears!!" Thanatos's shook his head "n-no, no... NOOOOOO!!!!!!!" (Y/n) chuckled darkly standing few feet away from Thanatos "April gores' dear Thanatos~"

Screams of agony echoed through the mansion, many creatures and people heard it, even by the pair of lovers

"Hmm? Did you heard that love?" Abductor raised his head while being on top "don't care! Continue! And use those tentacles of yours!" With a shrug abductor went back under the covers and resumed his love with Salem

[Timeskip brought to you by Dust-cola™ "power comes every sip!"]

"Whew, now's that over I still got rest of the day left, what about you Thanatos?...............okay, I'm going alone, maybe I'll take cinder hmm" I closed the doors leaving Thanatos inside to rest

After I arrived into mine and Cinder's bedroom I recieved a live video of a medium sized village with strong defense fighting with my grimm and soldiers , I immediately started to look for my armor "cinder?! Where's my berserker armor?" I shouted out to cinder who's in the bathroom drying her hair "whaaat?!" I sighed heavily before shouting back "WHERE.IS.MY.BERSERKER.

ARMOR?!" One of my helicopters exploded in the background of the video making me more furious "I uhhh put it away" is she for real? "where?!" I came closer to the bathroom "why do you need to know?!" , "I need it!!" Cinder walked out of the bathroom fully dressed "alright but you're not leaving without you're wife" with a sigh I opened the glass door and picked up the container of dust "ok let's go" cinder stepped in the way "I meant me, take me with you!" I put the container back and locked the door "now, give me the armor"

[Timeskip brought to you by fapex legends]

"Here we are cinder, the village of Tristram" i said standing on a nearby hill with berserker armor on and cinder by my side "Tristram? Sounds... familiar" I waved my hand to her "nah it doesn't, let's just go already" I then grabbed cinder by the waist and threw her over the high walls "here I go!" I jumped over the wall and saw all the houses and army vehicles "ugh, you could at least tell me you were gonna give me a "lift" cinder said dusting off her red dress "yeah right, just have fun ok? I'm still not finished with this day" we said our goodbyes before going into different parts of the village and the fun could begin

"April gores'!!!" (Y/n) yelled hanging a family of four in the park "c'mon don't HANG on me AHAHAHAH!!!"

(Y/n)'s seen standing right in front of the principal's office with his blade "anyone there? I'm here to help you! There's a bunker right beneath the uuhhhh.... Police station...." I waited for results and to my surprise the doors opened and an old bald guy with long white beard came out with a somewhat familiar blonde behind him "oh thanks oum! I thought we were gonna d- *decapitates him* "April gores'!!! There's no such thing as me helping you" the blonde stepped forward and opened her arms wide "just... make it quick" I raised my eyebrow in wonder "who are- *noitices a riding crop on her side* oh, are you a goodwitch?" She opened her eyes Wich were green "Y-yes, how do you?-" I raised my hand "enter this portal, I'm sure you're sister would love to see you again" she nodded believing me and entering the portal, moments after the she dissapeared in the portal I bursted out laughing "April gore!!! It didn't lead to your sister but to dimension c-137!!! AHAHAHAH!!!"

Later on I'm seen cutting down buildings at incredible speed yelling "APRIL GORES'!!!" While people tried to run away in terror

[Timeskip commanded by the author]

"*Stretching* ahhh, that's better" I changed into a pair of boxers and lied beside cinder in the bed "so, how was the day?" Cinder was snuggling up to me "yeah, and the best moment of it is this" we had a quick kiss before going to sleep in each other's arms

Nuckelaveea: Thanatos.... Why is there blood dripping from your...

Thanatos silenced his wife before saying "I was psychically scarced, and I can't sit down"