Jealousy

Realization

It's getting late and Jimin wants to sleep. Tonight is one of those nights where Taehyung and him would do a sleepover, a habit that they have been doing for the longest time even before they made their relationship official. The other members had been understanding of this and they willingly switched rooms to give the two some alone time. The world knows that they were soulmates anyway.

Everyone was enjoying the show they are watching on Netflix except for Taehyung. He was on a video call with his Hwarang hyungs, getting a little too sweet for Jimin's liking.

"You are the most handsome man I've seen in my entire life Seo-joon hyung. I love you!"

Jimin looked at Taehyung which was probably a bad idea because he can see how his boyfriend's eyes were sparkling along with the boxy smile and kissy face he gives to Tae's Hwarang hyungs.

His chest feels constricted. His chest feels constricted, a red neon sign board is flashing on the corners of his wicked brain saying "Jealous." Congrats, Jimin! That's what you get for dating the hottest bachelor in Korea. They have been in a relationship for four years and all throughout, it has always been him who shows more affection towards the other. He was always the bigger person and understands the situation.

Then suddenly, everything hits him like the good old classic drama, matching it with the background music of the damn series they are watching to make it even more melancholic. He remembered how many times he would feel insecure because his boyfriend was always the social butterfly, literally, everyone likes him, how crazy is that? He was reminded of the days when Taehyung would ask for their dates to be moved some other time due to circumstances that were "unavoidable" most of which are always last minute cancellations when he's all groomed and ready. He remembered how the other forgot about their anniversary until Namjoon reminded Tae the next day. Fuck. Jimin's chest tightened and he could feel his tears building up so he decided to go up the stairs and as expected Taehyung was too busy to notice.

Jimin disregarded his plans of spending the night in Taehyung's room and decided to go straight on his own. Tears started to fall from his eyes unwelcomed when he realized that his boyfriend never really said that he loved him except when they are having sex. The mere thought of it made him want to vomit. It had him thinking that he was probably never wanted by Tae to begin with. Maybe the reason why he's with Jimin is because he is easy. Like an accessible commodity you can get anytime in case you need one. Convenient and takes no effort to get.

Despite this, he knew deep down that he couldn't leave Taehyung. Not sure if he even wanted too.. He loves him with all his being; it's insane but he also does not want to continue being treated any less. He is so torn and confused— it hurts.

Jimin, now, too exhausted of everything, decided to call it a night and sleep the pain away hoping for a better day. "I'm tired, tired of everything" were the last words he thought to himself before drifting to slumber with his puffy cheeks and swollen eyes