Borderline Girl

two

"So how have you been this past week since our last appointment?" Dr. Sophie asked.

"Good I guess," I shrugged.

"Are you feeling like you're getting any better?"

I shrugged again, "I don't know."

"Okay, Angel if we're going to continue our appointments then I need you to open up a bit."

"I'll bite," I said, leaning forward, "What do you want to know?"

"Your mother called me before you came in today, she told me you get nightmares?"

I leaned back and squeezed my eyes closed, "She told you about the nightmares," I stated.

"That's what I just said, care to tell me what these nightmares are about?"

"It's just about Jake."

"And what happens?" she asked, I was beginning to get impatient with all of these questions she was directing at me.

I sighed and leaned my head into my hand, "It's basically a repeat of what happened to him, I keep watching him get murdered and I can't ever bring myself out of it." 

She nodded, "What time do you usually get to sleep?"

"Usually early morning, I have to exhaust myself to be able to fall asleep."

"And do you know why this is?"

"Just constant overthinking, nothing new really but the whole trouble falling asleep thing has just started these past few months."

She nodded and wrote something down on her notepad, "Was this before or after your breakup?" she asked, I glared at her, we haven't brought up my break up since our first session when my mother came in.

"After," I said through gritted teeth.

"Do you think the comfort of him being there was helping you in some way?" 

I shrugged not knowing what to say, my ex Bryan helped with a lot of things by just being around me he brought me a sense of comfort, "I guess," I said.

I looked around her office, the walls were a dark green and the chairs were various colors of brown, white and orange. It was a small office in a large building with her desk shoved against the wall with a large computer sitting on top of it, the place was apparently really hard to get into, but after my third attempt at suicide the hospital down the road had called this place and explained the situation, they took me in almost immediately.

"Angel?" Mr. Sophie said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry what was that?"

"What are your thoughts on your break up?" She asked.

"I don't see how my break up is relevant to me getting better," I remarked.

"It is extremely important to you getting better, your thoughts give me an insight of your mind, and considering we still don't have a diagnosis it's even more relevant."

I sighed, shifting in my seat, "Look, it broke my heart because I knew this time would be different, but I still blame myself for what happened."

"And why is that?"

"Because I screwed up, he gave me another chance and I blew it because I called him controlling and saying all this crap about how he was siding with my mum and how he wasn't my dad and all of this stuff."

"Were you two okay before this?"

"Honestly no, we would argue about the slightest things, I mean we had already broken up before because I listened to one of his friends when they said to break up with him. We were in the middle of an argument already and I called him then broke up with him. I instantly regretted it."