What If You Fell In Love?

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It's been a couple of hours since Y/N and I got into an argument at the pool. I came back to my room and took a warm shower, hoping it would help. It didn't. I've been staring at the ceiling since then, wondering what would happen next. How I could fix things between us, if there was still a chance to fix my relationship with Y/N. We had too much history. We had too much time apart, which apparently did no good to either one of us. But, could we move forward together without our bad history? Is it possible to have a future together without bring up my mistakes and the pain we both suffered from?

There was a soft knock on my door. I looked at the clock on my nightstand and it was 8:30am. I hadn't slept. I rubbed my tired eyes and sighed before getting out of my bed.

I opened the door and saw Y/N in her PJs. Her eyes were bloodshot and filled with tears. Her nose was pink and she had her bottom lip between her teeth, almost as if she was too scared to say anything. It was obvious she had been crying since our fight, but there was something else. She looked absolutely terrified.

She wasn't saying anything. So, I didn't say anything either. Instead, I pulled her in for a hug. She didn't hug me back as her arms stood still by her side. I tightened my grip and held her tight, which caused her to stop holding back. She let out a soft sob and wrapped her arms around my waist.

After a few minutes, she stopped crying. I rubbed my hand up and down her back, trying my best to sooth her. "Do you want to come in?"

She sniffed and nodded her head against my chest. I unraveled my arms and took her hand, letting the door automatically close on its own as we walked. She held on tight as I led her to my bed. She sat on the edge of the bed. She tugged my hand, signaling me to sit next to her. I sat there and waited until she was ready to talk.

"Please don't laugh or think what I'm about to tell you is stupid," she sniffled before she looked me dead in the eye.

"I won't," I said honestly.

She let out a heavy sigh and held my hand between hers. "After our argument, I fell asleep and I had this dream. A very vivid and realistic dream where you got engaged. I fell to my knees when I saw the news online. You looked so happy with this woman, who I don't even know who she was because her face was blurred out, but it hurt like hell. I felt physical pain." She placed one of her hands above her heart as she continued, "My heart had shattered into even smaller pieces. I couldn't breath and that's what woke me up. I was covered in sweat and tears. I was absolutely terrified going back to sleep and have that same dream again."

When she finished talking, she had wet streaks down her cheeks. My hand shook as I wiped the fallen tears away. I hesitated before I cupped her cheeks. Her eyes flickered up to mine and I could see the fear in her eyes, the fear of me loving someone else. Someone that isn't her. I knew that look. Hell, I knew that feeling all too well.

I closed my eyes and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight, hoping she would know she could never lose me. She doesn't have to worry about loving someone else, because she has my heart. She always will.

"After we broke up and I moved back to LA, I had this recurring nightmare," I pulled back to look at her. I swallowed hard. "I wore this black suit and I was sitting in the back of a church. When I first had the dream, I had no clue what was going on or where I was. Everyone was dressed up too, but I didn't recognize one person. Then, I saw a priest and a groom walking towards the front center of the church. Next, the doors opened and you walked down the aisle in a beautiful white dress. You completely walked right pass me. You didn't even notice me. It was like I was invisible."

I stopped because the next part was painful. I closed my eyes to fight back the tears that wanted to escape. I took a deep breath before I opened my eyes and continued, "I stood up and opened my mouth to stop the wedding, but nothing came out. I tried screaming, but nothing. It was like I was muted as I watched you two slip on the wedding rings and kiss for the first time as husband and wife."

I sniffled as I felt warm tears falling down my cheeks. I cupped Y/N's cheek. "I woke every time in tears because I couldn't bear the thought of you falling in love with someone else..."

She swallowed hard and whispered, "when did that dream start?"

"Since we broke up..."

"Do you-"

"Yes," I answered before she could finish the question. "It's a nightmare I still have today."

Her bottom lip trembled. "What do we do? What does this mean?"

"I know what I want, you... but you have to decide what you want. I can't decide that for you." She stayed quiet. "But, if you want to give this another shot, you have to leave the past in the past. Eventually, you have to trust me again. I don't expect you to overnight. I hurt you, and I promise you, I won't ever do that to you again. I know what I did wrong and I'll be damned if I let you go again."

"You said something..." More tears fell down Y/N's cheeks as she sniffled again. "The thought of you falling in love with someone else," she shook her head. "I don't want you to fall in love with someone else. Please don't fall in love with anyone else. Please give me another chan-"

I leaned in and silenced her with my lips. She immediately kissed me back as she wrapped her arms around me. Our kiss wasn't sloppy, desperate, or fast. It was slow and passionate. It was two people rekindling their love and making up for lost time.

I cupped her cheek before I broke the kiss. Her tear filled eyes locked with mine. She let out a small sigh. "I'm sorry it took me this long..."

I shook my head. "I told you I would wait for you. No matter how long it took." I cupped her cheek. "I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, Jordan," she said with a smile.

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