So we got a DNA test for Charlotte, and it turns that Harry is the father, not Zayn.
He was furious, until we found out the kicker- I'm not the mom.
"How is this possible??? I shouted. "I was pregnant for a whole chapter!"
The doctor responded, "yeah, you were never preggo. We're checking you into the psych ward, and taking Harry along for observation. Also, we should really figure out who this kid's mom is."
"Oh, I can answer that." Harry grinned apologetically. "Her name is Miriam. I knocked her up 9 months ago, she's in the room next door. But she's majorly fugly, so I decided to make it seem like you were the mom. I should probably give her her daughter back."
Well, that explains that. The psych doctor just attributed it all to the stress of my family life and getting sold (never called the cops about that one, by the way).
Zayn smiled at me, looking thrilled. "Well, at least I'm not a teen dad anymore. That's all Harry's problem." And we skipped off into the sunset together in the joy of being able to travel whenever we want, not changing diapers, and really just living our best lives.
