Hope for the best, expect the worst.

Black tears.

Josh POV

I was down in the living room watching Seth Meyers. Bennie was laying on the couch with her head on my lap and ivy was off, probably with porce.

Porcelain went upstairs about half an hour ago and ivy followed about ten minutes later. I wish I knew what was upsetting porce so badly. She seems so upset about this but she won't tell me what.

I heard music playing softly from upstairs which meant it was probably fairly loud up there.

I slid out from under Bennie and she just put her head on the arm rest. I started walking up the stairs and heard more of the song, lyrics. Wrong kinda famous in her mamas eyes, you can tell she knows it when she cries. Black tears rolling down, from the eyes of an angel in a sinners town.

I walked into our bedroom to see her but she wasn't there. I started across the hall and found her lying on her stomach writing in her notebook. I smirked and turned down the music, "I've never known any writer who writes while listening to other music." I said while walking over to sit on the bed.

She turned her head to look at me and laughed. "Yeah well I'm not normal now am I?" she said smirking.

I shook my head, "no. No you aren't." I said smiling. I rubbed my hand up and down her back, "what are you writing?" I asked.

I could see the smirk on her face from behind her, "a song."

I rolled my eyes, "no duh, disaster. What kind of song?"

"The kind with lyrics. And notes." she said as she finished another line.

I smacked her shoulder and laid down beside her, "can I see, smartass?"

She stared ahead for a minute, thinking, then nodded. Sliding the notepad across the bed to me.

I'm trying to find the words

Now that you're willing to listen

But nothing I say can be heard

Not even the loudest emotions

Used to silent tears

Middle of the night

When no one can hear

I can be out of sight

Let it all out

Let it all go

Take it all back

Say it ain't so

Wish I could say what I'm feeling deep down

And make a smile out of this frown

Can you just hold me tight

It's on if you lie

Tell me 'it will be alright'

Hold me while I cry

Listening to silent tears

Watching them fall

But there's nothing new to hear

Already lived through it all

I turned and looked at porcelain, "ok seriously. Where did you learn to write like this?" I asked.

She shrugged, "just comes to me sometimes. Only way I ever really get my emotions out."

I nodded while looking over the song again, "you sure you're okay, porce?" I asked.

She nodded, "yeah. I'm fine. Don't worry, anything too bad comes up I'll let you know." She turned her head and kissed me lightly before rolling off the bed, "I'm gonna go have a shower." I nodded.

I kept looking thru her book. There were songs from anywhere from a year ago to last week. I can't believe I never knew she wrote this much. I guess she does this while I'm at the studio. But from the looks of it she writes one or two songs per week.

She was really good, and her style varied. She had deeper songs, love songs, sad songs, songs from I guess when she was up in the middle of the night.

I put the note book back in the bottom drawer of the dresser, on top of the blankets and went back downstairs to watch tv.

As of tomorrow it's only two weeks until I propose.