Kaylor Oneshots

Peace

Karlie stares out of her bedroom window. It's been exactly 65 days since her girlfriend had left her. She misses Taylor more than she'd like to admit. She misses the stupid conversations and late night theories over death and what happens to your soul. She misses hearing the older girl's conversations with her cats as if they're humans. And, God, she misses the way Taylor used to smile whenever she called the girl something as simple as 'baby'.

Her Taylor's excuse for leaving her had been that she feels broken, and fuck, it made the model so mad because she tried everything. Every fucking thing. To be the singer's knight in shining armour, to save the girl from herself but here she's sitting on her bed, months after the stupid breakup and she still feels broken as she glances to the empty side of the bed where her Taylor's body used to lay, tangled in the sheets.

Karlie wishes she could find the words to tell the blue eyed girl. Wishes it would be simple to tell the girl she fucking hates her so much for breaking her heart, yet she still owns the stupid thing, even if it's broken.

The model feels the utter shame fill her body as she remembers begging Taylor on her knees not to leave her, the confessions of love falling to deaf ears as the singer just walked out of her life and shattered all the memories they had created together.

All the fights, the lovemaking, the smiles and whispered secrets, the years that went into their relationship, everything, gone when Taylor decided Karlie just wasn't good enough for her anymore. Tears threatened to spill out of forest green eyes and the girl swallows them down as hard as she can.

I will not cry another tear over a girl who never truly loved me.

She should really not be thinking about Taylor. At all. She just wants to forget everything they had. The singer made it very clear that she feels nothing for the model when she didn't even blink an eye at the woman crying the day they broke up.

I need to get rid of her.

And Karlie does just that. She gets off of the bed and walks toward a drawer where she keeps all of the letters Taylor has sent her over the years. Some were at the beginning of their friendship, telling stories of Olivia falling into the bathtub one night and refusing to sit still when the singer tried to dry her and of fans all over the world the blue eyed girl wanted to meet. Some other letters a little more personal, how Taylor misses Karlie's hands all over her body late at night, how she loved that she didn't have to share the model with anyone. How much she loves the tall girl.

All of it, lies.

Karlie takes a deep breath, walking toward the fire place and throwing the letters into the burning flames, not sparing it one more glance. It was the only things she kept after the relationship had ended. It reminded her of the old life she had with the singer and the life she could've had with the girl, if she had been enough for the older woman.

"Fuck you for making me feel like I'm not worth it." Karlie yells out in anger and God it felt good. She admits, she still wanted to cry every single time she thinks of her ex lover or hears her stupid, amazing music on the radio, but the pent up anger and emotions wasn't worth it.

Taylor has moved on with some low life wash out called Joe and she looks at peace but what did Karlie have? A broken heart and a drinking problem alongside anxiety and a very fucking low self esteem all thanks to the older woman.

And the best part was when Taylor still wanted to remain friends. She didn't even consider how the blonde must've felt. Not good enough to date but still good enough to be friends with just so her perfect reputation doesn't get ruined.

Fuck that.

Karlie also deserved to be in peace. The model deserved happiness more than anyone on this planet because, fuck, she has so much love to give and everyone just walks over her or acts like she doesn't exist. Why isn't she also allowed to be valid? And feel loved? Why should she always hear the heartbreaking words "I'm done with you." From her lovers?

Josh, Toni, Taylor. All of them the same and every single fucking time, ironically enough, they've all told her they're better than her previous lovers and they turn out to be exactly the same.

Karlie knows that someday she'll be better. Someday she'll find peace and maybe someday she'll find someone who cares enough about her to stay and not think of a shitty excuse just to leave. She walks toward the bed and takes the spot back where she previously sat, staring out the window and finally, after months, a small smile forms on her lips.

"Someday I'll find peace." She mumbles out. 

So my girl Alison dropped a new song yesterday nd I cried listening to it cause it sums up perfectly what I'm going through and I really feel like this woman deserves more recognition