The Story of us

Chapter 9: Never go off with bartenders at clubs

WARNING: Small trigger warning for mentions of rape/sexual abuse

Asheville, North Carolina - 911 miles 

The car ride from Lila's property to wherever the hell Harry was taking us was slowly but surely turning into possibly the most awkward trip that I had ever experienced. So far, neither of us had brought up how I had been about to put my life at risk for him, someone that I constantly claimed to hate, but I knew that it would be coming soon. Harry wasn't the type to leave things undiscussed–I hated how I knew that–but me, on the other hand? I was the complete opposite. I was the queen of avoiding things. My belief was that all you had to do was ignore something enough until it finally went away. It had always worked for me in the past, but I guess that Harry was just different. 

I was pretending to be asleep when he brought it up. Travis, who was lying down in the backseat, was actually sleeping, so Harry wouldn't have to worry about him overhearing anything that he wasn't supposed to. I had personally thought that I was doing a pretty good job of faking my nap, but somehow he had managed to see right through me, which made me uneasy. 

"Lexi." It made me nervous to hear him say my actual name, instead of 'Lex' or the nickname that he had so fondly dubbed for me, 'Crazy Girl'. "I know you're awake." 

I ignored him and continued to keep my eyes closed. I couldn't back out now. Just keep swimming, Lexi. 

"Lexi," he repeated my name. 

I still refused to answer. 

He sighed. "I didn't want it to come to this, but I guess it's my only choice." Part of me wanted to bob my head up and ask him what the hell he was talking about, but before I could remind myself to stay strong, a squeal escaped from my lips as he began to tickle me. Again. And this time, while he was driving. The kid was seriously troubled. 

"Harry!" I shrieked, cackling with laughter. "Stop it! I'm serious, this time, stop it!"

He grinned. "Whatever you say." And then, instead of taking his hands off of me, he stopped the car and continued to tickle me. What a smartass. 

"Harry! Seriously, stop it or I'll kill you!" 

He instantly removed his hands from my body at my words, and I gulped nervously. Why was I such an idiot? Stupid, stupid, stupid girl, I chided myself in my head over and over again. 

"You wouldn't do that," Harry said to me. "I know that you wouldn't do that because you were willing to take a bullet for me. And I...I fucking let you do that." He paused and this time, when he spoke again, his voice was much quieter. "If something like that ever happened to you, Lex, I would never forgive myself." 

I stared at him with wide eyes. This conversation seemed far too serious for two people who had a relationship like us to be having. How was it that a few days ago, we were cursing each other out and now he was claiming that he wouldn't know what to do with himself if I got hurt? The entire situation made me uncomfortable, but for some reason, I wasn't able to voice my thoughts. That was strange. I usually had no issue with speaking my mind. 

''All right," I responded because I'm a bitch who doesn't know how to express her feelings. "Could we, um, talk about something else?" 

I expected Harry to instantly comply with my request, like he usually did (we argued about every single thing under the sun, that was true, but at the end of the day, we both knew who wore the pants in this relationship–not that we were in a relationship, but you know what I mean), but this time, he hesitated. "Lexi..." 

I gulped, but that couldn't get rid of the funny feeling that was spiraling around in my stomach. Planting my blue eyes directly on the window instead of his pleading expression, I tried one last time, "Can we just not talk about this? Jesus, Harry, there's no need to make every situation between us so uncomfortable."