a friend of mine who was like a sister to me is no longer my friend. she was insensitive and rude, but i didn't see it until now. she misgendered me and deadnamed me constantly, calling me deanna instead of robin. she told me she felt like she babied me, even though she didn't. she never realized that i was autistic and i couldn't do everything myself. i feel that this is my fault, that i didn't realize how rude she really was sooner. she was fucking rude. she felt that she had authority to tell me how to dress if i identified as a boy. she thought she could told me how to dress. she thought she could tell me what colors i could and couldn't wear. she felt like i had to be like every other boy at my school to truly pass as one myself. i'm sorry i was so stupid. i'm sorry i didn't realize how rude she was. i'm sorry that i'm a useless human being. she made me feel like i was trash. her words hurt me in ways i have never experienced.
i'm sorry.
