The Bantam with the Puppy Dog Eyes

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Part DUEX

A/N Shattered: Let's play a game! Eat/drink your favorite food/soda every time Bantam is mentioned. We also need more sassy/spunky Yugis in the world, I am just saying.

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"Yami!? What the hell is it?!

His lungs were burning. He fought to breathe in sweet, delicious air.

"Moving -- Barbie -- It coughed!"

He opened his large, large eyes and took in a deep, much-needed breath of fresh air. He rose to his hands and knees and coughed out the last bit of water flooding his lungs. His insides pricked and stung like hell, but at least he could breathe.

"Barbie? Coughed? For the love of God, Yami don't scream like that! You nearly scared the shit out of me!" Atem laughed, "For someone who stood in the shade you sure did get a lot of sun today."

"Atem I know what I fucking saw! Look for yourself!"

Yugi rubbed his throat and sat on his rump. He took in ragged breaths and leaned wearily against a loose plant stem. Where did that water come from? It was bright and sunny outside.

"You big baby. Fine, but I assure you you're just seeing things."

Where were those voices coming from? They sounded really close--

Yugi blinked when a shadow overtook him. Surprised purple met with stunned crimson and they stared at each other for a few constricting seconds before both erupted into terrified (and in Atem's case, manly) screams.

"What the hell?!"

"Monster!" Yugi backed into the edge of the pot and tumbled over, landing with an undignified squeak on the hard countertop. He ignored the aching in his bones and continued to scramble back towards the far wall. "Please don't eat me please don't eat me please don't kill me--"

"Oh my God it can talk!"

"Kill it kill it kill it!"

Yugi screamed and dove to the side when Atem came at him with a fly swatter. "Please don't eat me! I have diseases!"

"All the more reason to kill a bug like you!"

"I like living!" Yugi ran past the sink faucet and hid behind the blender. "Please don't eat me!"

Yami spoke up from behind the kitchen island. "Ick, did it say diseases? We'd better drown it."

"Hell yeah we will. I don't want to get diseased!"

Yugi squeaked and pressed himself against the back wall when his hiding place was ripped from his grasp, revealing a scowling Atem with fly swatter in hand. "Good riddance, you little cockroach."

"Eep!" Yugi ran out of the way of the oncoming fly swatter, finding refuge behind a toaster. His chin wobbled as he fought to catch his breath. "I am not a cockroach!"

"Right, you're just a creepy Barbie doll!" Yami shouted at the toaster with an angry finger.

"No I'm not!"

Okay this swatter wasn't working. Atem sat it on the counter and slid the toaster aside to grab the screaming Yugi in one hand. "Yami get a jar. It's time this...this thing was put out of its misery."

"On it babe." Yami nodded and sifted through the nearby cabinets.

Yugi angrily balled his tiny little fists. For the last time, he was not a thing! "I'm a Bantam, not a thing you overgrown troll! Put me down!"

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