Welcome to My Life

Chapter 2

Phoenix's p.o.v

     I wake up in an all white room with really bright lights. I groan in pain because I feel a really strong pain. My eyes keep opening and closing. I hear a faint crying in the distance. I look up to see my mom crying in the hall. I try to sit up she sees me and walks into the room.

     "Phoenix! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TRY TO LEAVE ME? Sweetie-" Her voice cracks"-you are all I have left."

     Tears stream down my face as I say "Mom, I'm sorry. I don't think I can handle life anymore. It is too much."

     Mom then embraces me tightly saying, "I love you sweetie. I don't know what I would do without you. I know it has been a rough 2 years since Ali died and since your dad left" she trails off. 

     I zone out flashing back to the day that Ali died and the day that dad left. Seeing him so angry. Him hitting me and blaming me for Ali's death. Him packing his shit so fast to leave. Like he was waiting for something to happen so that there was finally an excuse to leave. Before he left he yelled at mom and asked her what the hell was she thinking when she let us drive alone. As he was walking out he looked at me with pure hatred in his eyes and he clenched his teeth together spitting the words like venom that I will never be anything in life but a disappointment.  Mom didn't know that he did any of this. Soon after they got a divorce and I was forced to spend days with dad and days with mom. 

      I come back to reality with tears in my eyes. Mom has been staring at me this whole time trying to register what I am feel. She can tell by the look in my eyes that something is off. 

     I look away and say "I think it's best I go away for a while," I trail off.

       "I think so too sweetie," Mom says.

     All of the sudden a wave of heat hits me. I roll up my sleeves forgetting about the cuts I did before trying to overdose. Mom notices right away and grabs my arm examining the incisions. I look at her eyes and can tell she is feeling pain. 

     She looks up and says one simple word, "Why?" 

    I can't think of the right words to say. I can't think of  anything to say. My mouth is moving but no words come out. How do you tell the person who gave you life you don't want it anymore? How do you tell her you are bullied? How do you tell her that your dad is physically and mentally abusive? You can't so you just sit there. Soon after the silence is too much to handle she walks out of the room and goes to talk to the doctors and the nurses. I sit there is complete and udder silence not knowing what is going to happen next.

     Mom walks back into the room and tells me that I am going somewhere to get help. I'll be gone for 2-6 months. I will be able to call and that every now and then visitation is an option if I would like her or dad to come. I sit there taking it all in. The room starts spinning and I notice I am hyper-ventilating. I'll be alone for months. No mom to make smile. No abusive dad. No one. Then I think of the positive side. I could actually make friends. I can mentally become stable. I can improve myself.

       I smile slightly "Okay, if it is going to better me then I agree." I reach out to hug mom and tell her how much I love her.

     She walks out and notifies the doctor that she is going home to pack me a bag and then she will be back.