tuesday 4:05pm
jihoon slowly woke up and saw the most amazing sight in front of him, soonyoung was wrapped up in a blanket looking like a dumpling and was silently eating while watching tv
he chuckled and smiled fondly, he once again admired soonyoung's tiger like features, soonyoung had noticed he was staring but pretended he didn't so jihoon would keep looking at him, it felt good
"you're pretty" jihoon said in a small voice
soonyoung slowly turned towards him and muttered a small thank you while whipping his nose, for someone else it would've been weird but for jihoon, it was cute
he continued watching tv and jihoon noticed it was a live debut showcase
"you want to be an idol?" he asked
soonyoung sighed "it wouldn't be bad to be an idol but i haven't tried, plus being a trainee is hard" he said
jihoon nodded but didn't want the conversation to end "what group is that?"
soonyoung smiled and said it was astro, a new boy group that was just debuting and that he had been following them for a while now
jihoon noticed how soonyoung's eyes were concentrated by analyzing every single move the six boys made and smiled "do you feel any better?" jihoon asked
"i'm much better with you"
soonyoung quickly covered his mouth and opened his eyes wide, jihoon giggled, soonyoung was just so cute, they both stayed quiet for a while until jihoon said he had to leave for work, he hugged soonyoung and left
soonyoung had kind of an empty feeling, why was jihoon making him feel that way? he couldn't stop feeling weird without him
he got up from the couch and went to his room without knowing what else to do, he was bored, took out his phone and checked old messages or stuff he had missed the past few days
he realized a lot of people talked to him, he wondered if they really cared about him or if they were just being polite
the feeling of him being loved made him feel sad, he was dying on friday and there was nothing he could do to stop it
but why was he feeling so sad?
he shook any idea of him dying off of his mind, he was supposed to not care about anything
to distract himself from his headache he locked his phone and stared at the ceiling, what was the dream he had the night before about? did he really see jihoon that way? a lot of questions seemed to fill his head lately
it was true, he did feel something for the other but he still wasn't sure of what could it be, was he actually romantically interested?
he didn't know he could ever be attracted to men so he tried thinking of another man he had even felt attracted to and couldn't think of anyone
"are you gay?" he asked himself
maybe he wasn't gay, but he didn't know what he was either, sexualities were really confusing and he hadn't figured himself out
in fact, he had never felt attracted to anyone before, which was even more confusing, he used to think he was aromantic
as he was deep in thought, his phone suddenly started ringing
