The Baseball Player and I

Feelings-6

Dear Crush,
A lot of people say that a crush could either do one of two things... Be the cause of your tears at night or the reason you fall asleep and wake up happy. I don't know which category to put you under because you make me both really happy and really insecure. You make me happy because you make me smile without even trying and with just a glace at you, you can make my day turn into something worth living. You make me insecure because sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough to be with you. I know it's not you does this to me but it's your friends and the people you hang around that make me feel this way. The judge and I feel like if you even had an ounce of feelings for me they would be gone in a second because of your friends. I'm not like other girls, I'm so different from the skinny blondes you hang out with. I am happy to be me sometimes but other times I don't know I feel like I need someone to see me and love me my flaws and all. I want that person to be you. I want you to be the person I call and talk to when I'm upset and that's most of the time to be ready for my calls. I want to facetime you at night and fall asleep with you on the phone. I just want to be happy with you but I can't because I'm me and you're you. We're different and I don't know how different because I don't know you and I want to know you and that is what hurts because I want to get to know you so bad but baseball players will be baseball player and I will just be me...