this book is sort of a project for me. it's the first story I've ever written, with dynamics I've never tried. it's been really hard, but I hope you'll join my on my writing journey :)
cover art by cassbutts on deviantart!
(Warning the first chapter...
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~~~~~ We got back to the dorms a little later than usual. We still had our arms linked together when we walked into the common room. We settled down and talked about potions for about half an hour before we walked back up to the boys' dorms. Pansy included.
While they conversed on the beds, I excused myself to the bathroom.
All I really intended to do was use the toilet. But I caught myself in the mirror, and I started thinking too much.
I slid down the wall. I put my head in my hands as everything came back to me. I let myself forget. I let myself forget what's happened throughout the years.
I'm a deatheater. I'm- I'm just an evil twat! Merlin, I want to scream!
So I did.
Not after putting up silencing wards, though.
I screamed. I yelled profanities. I screamed about how much I hated myself. I let it all out for once in my life, instead of keeping it in.
I went too far though.
I stood up again and punched the mirror. Right where my damn face was. It shattered all over the countertop and into the sink. The shattering noise was loud. Painful. What was more painful, though, was my hand. My knuckles were split open and bleeding.
At least I didn't have to look at myself anymore.
~^~^~^~^~^~
"Ah, fuck."
I sucked in a breath through my teeth as the pain shot through my arm. My mind was clouded. Thoughts were running through my head. They were too fast for me to pay attention to just one. This is how I chose to focus.
I harshly stabbed my left forearm with a glass shard from the mirror. It hurt, but I needed to focus. I can't let my feelings out again. I can't let anything out.
It was working, so far.
I was trying to make the mark look less.. out there for everybody to see. I fucking hate it.I wish it would disappear. I wish my past would disappear-I- I wish I would disappear-
"Shit!" I hissed.
I pushed too hard. I held my arm up to check out the damage.
Blood trickled from the wound I had just made, and rapidly rolled down my arm to my elbow, and dripped onto the floor.
As I stared at it, my mind quickly began to form coherent thoughts again. The metallic smell of the blood both all over my arm and on the floor was extremely overwhelming. It was enough to make me sick. I heard somebody knocking on the door.
